Dear Ryan,
In what way does she express her anger? Is it about money issues, the loss
of you as a well partner, fear of the way being sick makes your life more
complicated, fear of losing you and being alone...
It is very good for anybody with cancer to be on a list like this. You can
read many books, but I don't think there's one that contains the wealth of
information I've gained from being on survivor lists.
Speaking of books though, I would highly recommend those of Dr. Bernie
Siegel. They helped me, a tremendous amount, to learn to live with cancer.
If you can find a local support group, it would probably be good. Most
social service organizations now not only offer support groups for cancer
sufferers, but for their family as well.
You have to develop a game plan. The lynch pin is a really good doctor.
Then for many people, this goes on to a system of support, a spiritual
dimension and a nuitritional element. Plus all this, you have to find some
way to go on taking care of, whatever you haved been used to taking care of
everyday.
It is easiest, if you are married, if husband and wife can do this together.
But somehow, I think, this is what you have to do.
Sometimes sufferer or spouse are so upset by all this that you need to get
some third person to intervene. Maybe a beloved sibling, friend or
counselor; I know everyone here will help you as much as we can.
Love and Hugs,
Martha
-----Original Message-----
From: Ryan <raskme@excite.com>
To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
Date: Sunday, June 20, 1999 12:02 AM
Subject: Re: [MOL] Fwd: help needed please
>Thanks for the info and reply. I have been looking for info on the net and
>this will help. I also nee dhelp with my wife. she seems angry with me
for
>getting sick, like I am letting her down. I don't know what to do to help
>her. I wonder if anybody else has had this experinece and what you did.
>Thanks for helping, Ryan
>
>
>On Fri, 18 Jun 1999 15:37:18 -0700, Lillian wrote:
>
>> Dear Ryan: Welcome to our wonderful forum. I have included much
>> information and sites for you to go to and aquifer the knowledge you need
>to
>> make sound decisions and take some control of your life back. If we may
>be
>> of further help pls. just ask and by all means join in any chat
>conversation
>> you may wish. Your friend, lillian
>> <
>> Compliments of your Mol Cancer Forum
>> >>
>> >>
>> WELCOME TO YOUR MOL CANCER FORUM
>>
>> Here you will meet a wonderful caring group of individuals who are
>> cancering or who are loved ones and friends being advocates for those
>> cancering.
>> Individuals in this group are not in the medical professional field.
>> Therefore,we do not
>> endorse a treatment, drug or product. Our people combined do have many
>> year's of
>> accumulated knowledge and expierence, who come from all walks in life
>and
>> are able to
>> lend tremendous assistance to help you walk through this journey.
>>
>> There are a few matters of importance to address.
>> It is the general assumption of the group that one can use alternative
>> treatments (with your
>> doctors permission) in conjunction with traditional therapy.
>> We feel that an individual who has had testing and is returning to the
>> doctor should take
>> someone with them as an extra set of ears.
>> It must be remembered that this is a most stressful time for you. We
>also
>> agree that a
>> second or even a third opinion is healthy. One needs to shop for the
>right
>> doctor for them;
>> as each of us are so different not only in personality; but our bodies
>> react differently.
>> You should be seeking nothing but the best doctors and hospital,
>remember
>> this is your life
>> and you want to be in control. The best way to be in control is to
>acquire
>> all the information
>> needed for your particular cancer; so that you and your doctor can
>descide
>> the best
>> treatment for you.
>> We find stress is our worse enemy, it is so important to remove yourself
>> from stressful
>> situations and non positive thinkers.
>> There are so many new drugs and treatments our there for most cancers
>that
>> lend hope to
>> all.
>> Be prepared for you doctors visits with questions. Should the doctor
>> interrupt you while
>> you are questioning explain that you have more questions. Make sure the
>> doctor speaks to
>> you in lay terms and that he is positive also.
>> Too often the doctor will give a gloomy statistical report, thus taking
>> hope away from the
>> patient and we find so many people who far out live the guess of any
>> doctor. Last; but
>> never least make sure that you eat healthy and that you keep your immune
>> system built up.
>> Again, we are here for you, we are a place of compassionate comfort, a
>> place you can rant
>> and rave knowing that we too have done that. A place of shelter; whereas
>> all of us know
>> what you are going through. Your friends of the MOL CANCER FORUM
>>
>> TRADITIONAL SITES
>>
>> National Cancer Institute http://rex.nci.nih.gov
>> Univ of Penn http://cancer.med.upenn.edu
>> Cancer Notes on the Net http://www.cancernews.com
>> Medicine On Line http://www.meds.com
>> MD Anderson http://www.mdanderson.org
>> Mem. Sloan-Kettering http://www.mskcc.org
>>
>> ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE SITES
>>
>> www.canceranswers.com
>> 85% CancerAnswers - Alternative Treatments
>> 84% Cancer Information -Alternative Treatments
>>
>> www.chiro.org
>> 84% CANCER TREATMENTS/ ALTERNATIVE
>> 84% Alternative Remedies for Cancer and other diseases.
>>
>> www.meds.com
>> 84% Re: Alternative cancer treatments [00299]
>> 83% 5. Internet Resources on Cancer
>>
>> See what the doctor says on alternative meds.
>> http:www.quackwatch.com/index.html.
>>
>>
>> MEDICAL DICTIONARIES
>>
>> omd@www.graylab.ac.uk
>> http://www.consearch.org.
>>
>> BOOKS
>> "50 Esential Things to Do When the Doctor
>> Says it is Cancer", Greg Anderson
>> Dr. Bernie Siegels "Love, Medicine and Miracles"
>> Dr. Carl Simontons "The Healing Journey"
>> Anne Frahms "Cancer Battle Plan"
>> Greg Andersons "50 Essential Things to Do When the Diagnosis is Cancer"
>> Resources: Support Services: Transportation & Lodging
>>
>> TRANSPORTATION & LODGING
>>
>> Air Care Alliance
>> 4620 Haygood Road, Suite 8
>> Virginia Beach, VA 23455
>> (800)296-1217 (National Patient Air Transport Helpline)
>> (757)318-9107 FAX
>> E-mail: mailto:aircarea@aol.com
>> Web site: http://www.angelflightfla.org/
>> A trade organization providing air transportation to ambulatory and
>> medically stable people.
>>
>> AirLifeLine
>> 6133 Freeport Boulevard
>> Sacramento, CA 95822
>> (916)429-2500
>> (800)446-1231
>> (916)429-2166 FAX
>> E-mail: mailto:staff@airlifeline.org
>> Web site: http://www.airlifeline.org/
>> Provides cost-assisted emergency medical transportation.
>>
>> Corporate Angel Network
>> Westchester County Airport, 1 Loop Road
>> White Plains, NY 10604
>> (914)328-1313
>> E-mail: mailto:info@corpangelnetwork.org
>> Web site: http://www.corpangelnetwork.org/
>> Provides free plane transportation for cancer patients undergoing
>treatment
>> from recognized cancer treatment centers.
>>
>> National Association of Hospital Hospitality Houses
>> 4915 Auburn Avenue
>> Bethesda, MD 20814
>> (800)542-9730
>> (301)961-3094
>> E-mail: mailto:nahhh@aol.com
>> Web site: http://www.visit-usa.com/hhh
>> Provides information on away from home lodging for patients and families.
>>
>> National Patient Air Transport Helpline
>> P.O. Box 1940
>> Manassas, VA 22110
>> (800)296-1217
>> E-mail: mailto:npathmsg@aol.com
>> Web site: http://www.npath.org/
>> Provides referrals for charitable and discounted patient medical air
>> transport services.
>>
>> BONE MARROW,TISSUE & ORGAN DONOR
>>
>> Bone Marrow Transplant Newsletter
>> 1985 Spruce Avenue
>> Highland Park, IL 60035
>> (847)831-1913
>> (847)831-1943 FAX
>> E-mail: mailto:help@bmtnews.org
>> Web site: http://www.bmtnews.org/
>> Publishes quarterly newsletter for bone marrow peripheral stem cell
>> transplant patients; provides patient-to-survivor telephone link.
>>
>> Bone Marrow Transplant Family Support Network
>> P.O. Box 845
>> Avon, CT 06001
>> (800)826-9376
>> Provides a telephone support network, family counseling and education,
>peer
>> groups and insurance information for BMT patients and families.
>>
>> Living Bank
>> P.O. Box 6725
>> Houston, TX 77265
>> (800)528-2971
>> (713)528-2971
>> (713)961-0979 FAX
>> Promotes and facilitates organ and tissue donor commitments.
>>
>> National Marrow Donor Program
>> 3433 Broadway Street NE, Suite 500
>> Minneapolis, MN 55413
>> (612)627-5800
>> (800)526-7809
>> (800)MARROW2 (Donor Information)
>> Web site: http://www.marrow.org/
>> Maintains a registry of bone marrow donors; provides donor recruitment
>> information.
>>
>> National Bone Marrow Transplant Link (BMT Link)
>> 29209 Northwester Hwy. #624
>> Southfield, MI 48034
>> (800)LINK-BMT
>> (810)932-8483 FAX
>> Web site: http://comnet.org/nbmtlink
>> Provides information and support to BMT patients and families; promotes
>> public understanding and research for BMT issues.
>>
>> Organ Transplant Fund
>> 1102 Brookfield, Suite 202
>> Memphis, TN 38119
>> (901)684-1697
>> (800)489-3863
>> (901)684-1128 FAX
>> E-mail: mailto:atfnatl@aol.com
>> Web site: http://www.otf.org/
>> Provides financial and insurance assistance, patient advocacy and housing
>> information during treatment for transplant recipients and their
>families.
>>
>> Transplant Foundation
>> 8002 Discovery Drive, Suite 310
>> Richmond, VA 23229
>> (804)285-5115
>> (804)288-2408 FAX
>> Provides financial assistance to offset cost of post-transplant
>medications;
>> acts as clearinghouse for transplant information.
>>
>> CHILDRENS HOPES & DREAMS FONDATION
>>
>> 1-201-361-7366
>>
>> HOME HEALTH CARE
>>
>> National Association for Home Care
>> c/o Consumer Guide
>> P.O. Box 14241
>> Washington, DC 20003
>> (202)547-7424
>> (202)547-3540 FAX
>> Web site: http://www.nahc.org/
>> Trade association providing referrals to home or hospice care.
>>
>> The Oley Foundation
>> 214 Hun Memorial, A-23
>> Albany Medical Center
>> Albany, NY 12208-3478
>> (518)262-5079
>> (800)776-OLEY
>> E-mail: mailto:taylor@ccgateway.amc.edu
>> Web site: http://www.wizvax.net/oleyfdn
>> Support for home enteral and/or parental nutrition therapy.
>>
>> Olsten HealthCare
>> 175 Broadhollow Road
>> Melville, NY 11747
>> (516)844-7800
>> (800)66-NURSE
>> Web site: http://www.olsten.com/
>> Provides home health care services including chemotherapy, nutrition and
>> hydration
>> therapies, pain management, physical therapy, and general nursing
>services.
>>
>> Visiting Nurse Association of America National Office
>> 3801 East Florida Avenue, Suite 900
>> Denver, CO 80210
>> (888)866-8773
>> (303)753-0218
>> Provides skilled nursing and assisted living services.
>>
>> Amherst H. Wilder Foundation
>> 919 Lafond Avenue
>> St. Paul, MN 55104
>> (612)642-4000
>> (612)642-4068 FAX
>> Web site: http://www.wilder.org/
>> Provides assisted living and nursing home care services for the elderly
>in
>> the
>> Minneapolis area.
>>
>> Childrens' Hospice
>> 2202 Mt. Vernon Ave., Suite 3C
>> Alexandria, VA 22301
>> (703)684-0330
>> (703)684-0226 FAX
>> E-mail: mailto:chiorg@aol.com
>> Web site: http://www.chionline.org/
>> Provides information and referral services,counseling, support groups,
>> education, and
>> research aimed at improving hospice care for children.
>>
>> Choice in Dying
>> 1035 30th Street NW
>> Washington, DC 20007
>> (202)338-9790
>> (202)338-0242 FAX
>> Web site:http://www.choices.org/
>> Advocacy organization for end-of-life rights;provides legal counseling
>and
>> information on
>> end-of-life decisions.
>>
>> National Association for Home Care
>> c/o Consumer Guide
>> P.O. Box 14241
>> Washington, DC 20003
>> (202)547-7424
>> (202)547-3540 FAX
>> Web site: http://www.nahc.org/
>> Trade association that provides referrals to local hospice
>organizations.
>>
>> Hospice Education Institute/Hospicelink
>> 190 Westbrook Road
>> Essex, CT 06426
>> (860)767-1620
>> (800)331-1620
>> (860)767-2746 FAX
>> E-mail: mailto:hospiceall@aol.com
>> Provides information and referral services,education, advice and
>assistance
>> regarding
>> hospice and palliative care.
>>
>> National Hospice Organization
>> 1901 N. Moore Street, Suite 901
>> Arlington, VA 22209
>> (703)243-5900
>> (800)658-8898
>> (703)525-5762 FAX
>> E-mail: mailto:drsno@cais.com
>> Web site: http://www.nho.org/
>> Provides information and referrals to local hospitals, patient advocacy
>and
>> professional
>> education.
>>
>> National Institute for Jewish Hospice
>> 8723 Alden Drive, Suite 219
>> Los Angeles, CA 90048
>> (310)854-3036
>> (213)HOSPICE
>> (800)446-4448
>> Provides free telephone counseling and referrals; trains professionals
>in
>> the art of helping the
>> Jewish terminally ill.
>>
>> RESOURCES/ LEGAL
>>
>> Americans with Disabilities Act
>> U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission
>> Office of Legal Council
>> 1801 L Street NW
>> Washington, DC 20507
>> (202)663-4503
>> Provides information and legal assistance regarding discrimination due
>to
>> illness or disability
>>
>> Family Medical leave Act
>> U.S. Department of Labor
>> Wage & Hour Division
>> 200 Constitution Avenue NW
>> Washington, DC 20210
>> (202)219-8412
>> Provides information on employment rights during medical leave due to
>> illness
>>
>> Support Services: INSURANCE & FINANCE
>>
>> American Association of Health Plans
>> Membership Department
>> 129 20th Street NW, Suite 600
>> Washington, DC 20036
>> (202)778-3200
>> Web site: http://www.aahp.org/
>> Insurance industry trade association that will provide information on
>> insurance and health care
>> issues.
>>
>> Blue Cross and Blue Shield Association
>> 675 North St. Claire Street
>> Chicago, IL 60601
>> (312)440-6000
>>
>> Department of Health and Human Services
>> Inspector General Hotline
>> Office of the Inspector General
>> P.O. Box 23489
>> Washington, DC 20026
>> (800)368-5779
>> U.S. government hotline for complaints regarding Medicare or Medicaid;
>> provides assistance with
>> issues of entitlements, benefits, insurance, and community resources.
>>
>> Disabled American Veterans
>> 807 Main Avenue SW
>> Washington, DC 20024
>> (202)554-3501
>> (202)554-3581 FAX
>> Web site: http://www.dav.org/
>> Provides assistance with health benefits for U.S. veterans.
>>
>> Hill-Burton Free Hospital Care
>> 5600 Fishers Lane, Room 7-47
>> Rockville, MD 20857
>> (800)683-0742 Hotline
>> (301)594-5999 FAX
>> Web site: http://www.hrsa.dhhs.gov/bhrd/dfcr/dfcrmain.htm
>> U.S. government program that can arrange for cost-assisted care for
>> disadvantaged individuals at
>> certain medical facilities or hospitals.
>>
>> National Insurance Consumer Hotline
>> 1001 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
>> Washington, DC 20004
>> (800)942-4242
>> Provides assistance in finding insurance coverage, information on
>insurance
>> issues and a consumer
>> complaint service.
>>
>>
>> Support Services: HAIR LOSS
>>
>> Look Good, Feel Better
>> The American Cancer Society
>> (800)395-LOOK
>> Teaches women who have undergone cancer treatment how to improve
>appearance
>> through
>> cosmetics, wigs, scarfs, etc.
>>
>> Y-ME WIG
>> 212 West Van Buren Street, 4th Floor
>> Chicago, IL 60607
>> (800)221-2141
>> (312)294-8598 FAX
>> Web site: http://www.y-me.org/
>> Provides donated wigs free of charge.
>>
>> This MOL FORUM is intended to assist people with cancer, their family,
>> friends and caregivers find the information to help them make decisions
>> regarding treatment and management of their disease. Nothing presented
>> herein should be construed as a substitute for professional advice from a
>> physician or medical practitioner. Reasonable efforts have been made to
>> ensure the accuracy of the information provided, but the Mol Forum makes
>no
>> warranty , nor endorses any recommendation, practice or product of any
>> organization or service contained herein.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> >>
>> >> _______________________________________________________
>>
>>
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>
>
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