[MOL] [Fwd: Fw: Girlfriend/Wife Software upgrade] [00281] Medicine On Line


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[MOL] [Fwd: Fw: Girlfriend/Wife Software upgrade]



G'day, sent this along, thought you might get a giggle or two!
Take care,
Love Mam

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This is an upgrade on a previous version of this joke  It appears more clever than the previous version.

> WIFE 1.0 UPGRADE (author unknown)
>
>      Last year, after hearing how great it was for so long, a friend of
> mine upgraded from Girlfriend 3.0 to Wife 1.0. He has found Wife 1.0 to be
> a resource hog, leaving him very little free space for other applications.
>
>      Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child-Subroutines, which further consumes
> valuable system resources. His system performance and resources seem to
> diminish with each passing day.
>      At first, he thought Wife 1.0 might be infected with a virus, but
> other users have assured him that Wife 1.0 is behaving normally and this
> behavior should be expected due to the nature of the application.
>      My friend also discovered that Wife 1.0 installed itself in such a
> way that it can monitor all other system activity. He now finds that some
> programs such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 5.1 and PubNight 7.0 cannot run
> at all. If he attempts to launch them, Wife 1.0 complains about a sharing
> violation and crashes. He finds this behavior strange
> since he could run these programs just fine before he upgraded.
>      At installation, he found Wife 1.0 provides no option to bypass the
> installation of undesired add-ons such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and
> BrotherInLaw Beta release.
>      Some features he would like to see introduced in the upcoming Wife
> 2.0 release:
> * A "Don't Remind Me Again" button.
> * A Minimize button.
> * An Install Shield that allows Wife 2.0 to be uninstalled at anytime
> without the loss of cache or other system resources.
> * An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode.
>      I have decided to forego all the headaches associated with Wife 1.0
> by sticking to Girlfriend 3.0. However, even that option has many
> problems. Apparently, you cannot install one version of Girlfriend before
> you completely uninstall the old version first. To make matters worse, the
> uninstall program for Girlfriend doesn't work very well, leaving
> undesirable traces of the application in the system. If the newer version
> finds a reference to the old version, Girlfriend will completely freeze
> until you reboot and remove the stray reference. I am told this is a long
> standing bug which I should have been aware of.
>      Also, versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use of the
> I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now.
>      Another thing that stinks -- all version of Girlfriend continually
> popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife
> 1.0.
>
> ***** BUG WARNING *****
> Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.0
> before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete all MSMoney files and
> take all your cache before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.0
> will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.
>
> ***** BUG WORKAROUNDS *****
> If you can afford it, try installing Mistress 1.0 on an entirely different
> system and never run any file transfer applications such as LapLink 6.0.
> Another possible solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via an ISP under an
> anonymous name.
>
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>
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