[MOL] Re: Funny church bulletins [00268] Medicine On Line


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[MOL] Re: Funny church bulletins




>
>Actual announcements taken from church bulletins: 
>
>* Don't let worry kill you, let the church help. 
>
>* Thursday night, potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow. 
>
>* Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. 
>
>* For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
>downstairs. 
>
>* The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David
>Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer. 
>
>* This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of
>the church. Children will be baptized at both ends. 
>
>* Tuesday at 4:00 pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving
>milk will please come early. 
>
>* Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing
>"Put Me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor. 
>
>* Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club.
>All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his
>study. 
>
>* This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay
>an egg on the altar. 
>
>* The service will close with "Little Drops of Water". One of the ladies
>will start, and the rest of the congregation will join in. 
>
>* Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the
>new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come
>forward and do so. 
>
>* The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they
>may be seen in the church basement on Friday. 
>
>* A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music
>will follow. 
>
>* At the evening service tonight, the topic will be "What is Hell?". Come
>early and listen to our choir practice. 
>
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