Re: [MOL] To all molers [02199] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] To all molers



Too bad my aunt is not still alive they would make a good couple.  Chris,
when people become ill they are either the sweetest person on earth or the
meanest, I swear there is no in-between..  It is so difficult when they push
everyone away including the people they love and so difficult for you to
just let it roll off your back.  I do know what you are feeling, prayers,
your friend, lillian
-----Original Message-----
From: CCR0417@AOL.COM <CCR0417@AOL.COM>
To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
Date: Saturday, May 29, 1999 8:31 PM
Subject: [MOL] To all molers


>Thanks for your sweet and touching responses.
>
>The truth is though that this is not the cancer, nor is it the meds making
my
>father this way.  What is happening is that all these things are working
>together to bring out the worst in him; he has always had this side to his
>nature, it's such much more often and as nasty as he could possibly make
it.
>That's not to say he is always such a terrible person, for that wouldn't be
>true.  But the Jekyl/Hyde stuff is showing it's true colors.
>
>I think of the many people including my stepmother whose children are
barely
>(in some cases not at all) involved with sick parents.  Here is my father
who
>keeps pushing everyone away!
>
>When he first was dx w/ cancer his first and only concern was for his
wife --
>until SHE got sick too.  Then he began his verbal assaults on her that were
>so bad she wanted to die and told the doctors that her husband now hated
her,
>so what did she have to live for?  After that, the abuse extended to all
>other close family members.  He still is quite capable of being charming
and
>perfectly civil to other people; so it's not that the cancer has gotten his
>brain.  If it has, then it got his brain already 50 years ago!
>
>I'm so sorry to have to vent about this here.  It really is a personal
matter
>that I shouldn't have burdened you all with, but I can't contact my sister
>tonight for some reason...  I'm worried about her because she left in tears
>and had a 2 hour drive home!  When my father told her never to come back,
she
>shouted, "Don't worry; I WON'T" and slammed the door so hard the walls
shook!
> That poor angel spent a week with Va at Univ Of Pa Hosp, barely getting
any
>sleep.  She footed all the costs of hotel and transporation (refused my
>father's money) and then cared for Va at her home afterward.  She has spent
a
>total of 26 days with Virginia during and after the surgery.  When Va
>reminded to be more appreciative of my sister after all she had done for
>them, he said, "...who asked you? I didn't. It wasn't for ME."
>
>Just downloading tonight.  Please excuse me.
>-chris
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