[MOL] To all molers [02198] Medicine On Line

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[MOL] To all molers

Thanks for your sweet and touching responses.  

The truth is though that this is not the cancer, nor is it the meds making my 
father this way.  What is happening is that all these things are working 
together to bring out the worst in him; he has always had this side to his 
nature, it's such much more often and as nasty as he could possibly make it.  
That's not to say he is always such a terrible person, for that wouldn't be 
true.  But the Jekyl/Hyde stuff is showing it's true colors.

I think of the many people including my stepmother whose children are barely 
(in some cases not at all) involved with sick parents.  Here is my father who 
keeps pushing everyone away!

When he first was dx w/ cancer his first and only concern was for his wife -- 
until SHE got sick too.  Then he began his verbal assaults on her that were 
so bad she wanted to die and told the doctors that her husband now hated her, 
so what did she have to live for?  After that, the abuse extended to all 
other close family members.  He still is quite capable of being charming and 
perfectly civil to other people; so it's not that the cancer has gotten his 
brain.  If it has, then it got his brain already 50 years ago!

I'm so sorry to have to vent about this here.  It really is a personal matter 
that I shouldn't have burdened you all with, but I can't contact my sister 
tonight for some reason...  I'm worried about her because she left in tears 
and had a 2 hour drive home!  When my father told her never to come back, she 
shouted, "Don't worry; I WON'T" and slammed the door so hard the walls shook! 
 That poor angel spent a week with Va at Univ Of Pa Hosp, barely getting any 
sleep.  She footed all the costs of hotel and transporation (refused my 
father's money) and then cared for Va at her home afterward.  She has spent a 
total of 26 days with Virginia during and after the surgery.  When Va 
reminded to be more appreciative of my sister after all she had done for 
them, he said, "...who asked you? I didn't. It wasn't for ME."

Just downloading tonight.  Please excuse me.
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