Re: [MOL] vent-Deb [02334] Medicine On Line

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Re: [MOL] vent-Deb

Dear Deb,
Boy, did you come to the right place! Vent away,  you are among friends
who understand. In fact, we'll even pass you the "pity pot!" I am one of
several breast cancer survivors on Mol (there are several of us), and
you are right -- it sucks big time. I was diagnosed at 43, promised that
"worst case scenario," I would have a lumpectomy, but "it was probably
nothing." Next thing I know, I'm losing the breast with a mastectomy,
and 6 months chemo with a very bad reaction. Plus, I have atype with
increased likelyhood of showing up in the other breast. Four years
later, I still see my onc every 4 mos.

Like you, I have two kids (who were just starting in high school).  I
was just remarried only 1 1/2 years before (poor guy got teenagers AND a
wife with cancer!) But here's the good news...there were many amazing
gifts that came out of that experience. My kids developed a maturity and
compassion that only come from struggle. We all grew in our love for
each other. And God did so many remarkable things throughout.

Deb, it's normal for you to feel anger and sadness and frustration and
all the other stuff you feel, But you are going to make it! They are
doing some amazing things these days, and YOU are not your mother or
your aunt, and only God knows when it is your time to go. So be mad, go
in there and kick butt, get the care you need, but also be at peace with
your boys. Know that you can beat this. Know that your life WILL feel
normal again. Know it WILL get better, friend.

In the meantime, know that there are a whole bunch of us who will walk
along side. You will be in my prayers, dear heart. Your friend, Joicy

deb grodin wrote:
> I am new at this. Just dx with breast cancer, dcis, on 2/2/99. Underwent
> Lumpectomy and have finished 20 out 33 radiation treatments. Now a happy
> camper by any means. Am starting to burn from radiation, and am very de-
> pressed. Finally called pcp today and made appt. for Monday at which
> time he will give me something for "three months or so". If anyone has
> any "up" thoughts I would appreciate them. Not sleeping at night and
> keeping on my boys backs, 10 and 13, is not helping anyone. Really
> stressed out. Aunt died of BC at age of 34, and Mother passed away from
> lung cancer 11 years ago at 53. I got a wonderful 40th early birthday
> present of BC. Sorry to go on venting but it seems like that is all I do
> these days. My day Monday will be fun, 1:30 radiation, 3:00 primary and
> 7:30 therapist. Did I forget to mention that my radiation onc. is not
> someone that I like? He is not very caring. Comes into treatment room,
> looks at me and leaves. When I asked the nurse if I was supposed to see
> him that day, she said he already saw you. Gee that's news to me, what
> if I had any questions? Once again I'm sorry for going on. Thank you for
> letting me get this out.
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