[MOL] Fwd: A Letter from a brother [02327] Medicine On Line

[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]

[MOL] Fwd: A Letter from a brother

My sister sent me this letter.  It's long but...get some tissues out.

---- Begin included message ----
Well Worth READING....but get some tissues handy!

Subject: FW: my sister & friend

My little brother wrote this note about our sister Emily.
I hope that it will share with you a little bit of who
my sister was and how much she meant to all of us.  Joseph
is much more elequent than any of his siblings.


Subject: my sister & friend

tomorrow, april 21st, 1999, would have been my sister Emily Elizabeth
"Lisa" Carlisle's 39th birthday.  so tomorow i will celebrate a little,
because i am very glad and know exactly how fortunate i am to have had
her for a sister and how thankful i am that she was born and that i knew
her.  however, the day after tomorrow, april 22nd, 1999, i will mourn the
1 year anniversary of her death from breast cancer.  and for that i am
sorry and can not come close to expressing the greif i feel for that.  no
one should die from something like that, but especially not her.

here are my thoughts today.  i still look to her for inspiration.  she
was the best, and in a sense, she still is.  everyday i learn something
from her, and the diginity and strength with which she lived her life.
she always thought of others, she always had kind words, she was never
mean spirited, she did not make fun of others, she smiled alot, and
giggled, and never tried to push her ideas on others, she listened, she
talked, she opened me up to so many things that i would have blown off,
she cared about me, she always made me feel good about myself, my
decisions, and what i was doing, she supported me in all my endeavors,
never once asked for anything in return, she found joy in the adventures
i had, she paid me the biggest compliments in the world especially when
she said she would like to live with me in portland if she ever left
jacksonville, she never lost the child in her, she was the smartest
person i ever met, she seemed to know at least alittle about everything,
she changed my diapers when i was a baby, the one time i was really mean
to her she told me so, she wanted to be my friend, and she was my friend,
i remember the standing ovation she recieved when she graduated from
Jacksonville University with a double major, she loved nature although
she was not able to get too far into it physically, she loved things
great and small unless they were crawling around her room and then she
would wake me up to kill them, she confided in me, she taught me that no
matter what hand you are dealt make the best of it and she would know,
she loved my dogs, she was the true heart and soul of my family, she
brought us all closer together, she had a contagious laugh especially
after champagne, when you gave her a present that she couyld not identify
she would say " i love it, what is it", she bought everyone's presents
months in advance of Christmas or your birthday because she would be so
excited, she gave the best cards with presents, she made me feel good
about the cards i sent her everyday for over a year when all i felt was
guilt for not being there in person, she inspired me to run a marathon,
she helped others like her clients at cerebal palsey of jacksonville, she
was inspired by others, she read alot, she watched good tv versus trash
tv, she was always excited when i came home whether it had been 1 day or
1 year, and she told me the greatest quote i have ever heard in my life
and she told it to me while in the hospital a little before she died and
i think of it everyday and it gives me strength and i want to share that
with all of you and hope you understand it in its context (she was on her
death bed)
"so i've decided, there are problems and there are inconveniences"

simple and astounding. amazing.  i cannot compare to someone like her, i
can only hope that i can attain half of what she did.  she overcame, she
fought hard, and she worked at everything, but she never complained, the
only complaint was just before she died she said "this is shitty" and
then appologized for saying that.

Emily "Lisa" Carlisle was the best person i ever knew.  i miss her as
much now as  i did on april 22nd 1998. we had great times together, there
is a tree at mt tabor park in portland oregon just above the old dog area
on the west side where there is now a bench under it that she told me was
her favorite tree.  i ran to that tree everyday, practically, from Aprill
til october last year.  it was what kept me sane.  that was where i could
go to say hi to her and let her know how much i miss her.  if you are in
portland, and visit that tree, say hi to emily for me.  and she told me
that when she got better she was going to go to see the whales, so when
you have the fortune to see  a whale, think of her, and realize how truly
lucky you are.

she was and is my sister, and she was a true friend.  and she had no idea
the impact she had on my life.  i wish she did know, but that was not her
style anyway, she was just being her, no concern for stupid stuff, she
knew what was important.

 i can still see her.  i see her when i was a kid and she was just my big
sister, i see her graduating from JU and remember welling up with tears
with the pride i felt not just for her but for being her little brother,
i remember seeing her in the shopping mall zooming around on her go-cart
in too much of a hurry to stop but enough time to say hey joe..., and i
remember seeing her on her 37th birthday and the joy she had on her face
when the entire family came together to celebrate her, and the big fun we
all had that day at her party and getting a portrait of all the kids for
our folks (instead of say cheese fj had her saying "hey lisa say bastids
-bastards" and she did), and i remember seeing her in the hospital.  none
of these images will ever leave me, and i don't wish for them to.  as
hard as it is, i never want to go a day with out thinking of her, whether
it be good or not good.

I feel that not only did i lose someone, and my family lost someone, but
the world/universe lost someone very important.  she made my life a
better life, and she made the world a better place.  she made me realize
how much i love her and my family and that nothing else even comes close
to how much i love my family.  i still hurt from this and think of all
the things i could have done or should have done differently, but i can't
change anything now.  but i still love her and still miss her like crazy.

i appreicate being able to share this with you all, and i know you all
will understand. call your family and say hello, keep in touch with those
you care about, and if someone who was born with cerebal palsey and died
of cancer never complained even while in the hospital, you have no reason
to.  take or make time to be good to people and to make your mark.  and
please think some good thoughts for Emily Elizabeth Carlisle on April 21
and 22.

to put it in straight terms, i miss my big sister....


Joseph Carlisle

ps sorry if this is too much for any of you to read, but it feel better
for getting it out.

---- End included message ----