[MOL] So, "how'd you break your arm?" [01860] Medicine On Line


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[MOL] So, "how'd you break your arm?"



I loved this, Pauline thanks for your postings, tears and chuckles,
Jeanne


> Pauline Middleton wrote:
> 
> Even if you aren't a skier, you'll be able to appreciate the humor of
> the
> >slopes as written in this account by a New Orleans' paper.
> >
> >A friend just got back from a holiday ski trip to Utah with the kind
> of
> story
> >that warms the cockles of anybody's heart.   Conditions were
> perfect.  12
> >below, no feeling in the toes, basic numbness all over, tell me when
> we're
> >having fun" kind of day.
> >
> >One of the women in the group complained to her husband that she was
> in
> dire
> >need of a restroom.    He told her not to worry, that he was sure
> there was
> >relief waiting at the top of the lift in the form of a powder room
> for
> female
> >skiers in distress. He was wrong, of course, and the pain did not go
> away.
> >
> >If you've ever had nature hit its panic button in you, then you know
> that a
> >temperature of 12 below zero doesn't help matters.   So, with time
> running
> >out, the woman weighed her options.
> >
> >Her husband, picking up on the intensity of the pain, suggested that
> since
> she
> >was wearing an all-white ski outfit, she should go off in the woods.
> No one
> >would even notice, he assured her.  The white will provide more than
> adequate
> >camouflage.
> >
> >So she headed for the tree line, began disrobing and proceeded to do
> her
> >thing.
> >If you've ever parked on the side of a slope, then you know there is
> a
> right
> >way and wrong way to set up your skis so you don't move.
> >
> >Yup, you got it.   She had them positioned the wrong way. Steep
> slopes are
> not
> >forgiving, even during embarrassing moments. Without warning, the
> woman
> found
> >herself skiing backward, out-of-control, racing through the trees,
> somehow
> >missing all of them, and into another slope.
> >
> >Her derriere and the reverse side were still bare, her pants down
> around
> her
> >knees, and she was picking up speed all the while.  She continued on
> >backwards, totally out-of-control, creating an unusual vista for the
> other
> >skiers. The woman skied, if you define that verb loosely, back  under
> the
> lift
> >and finally collided violently with a pylon.  The bad news was that
> she
> broke
> >her arm and was unable to pull up her ski pants.
> >
> >At long last her husband arrived, put an end to her nudie show, then
> went
> to
> >the base of the mountain and summoned the ski patrol, who transported
> her
> to a
> >hospital.  In the emergency room she was regrouping when a man with
> an
> >obviously broken leg was put in the bed next to hers.
> >
> >"So. How'd you break your leg?" she asked, making small talk.
> >
> >"It was the darndest thing you ever saw," he said. "I was riding up
> this
> ski
> >lift, and suddenly I couldn't believe my eyes.  There was this crazy
> woman
> >skiing backward out-of-control down the mountain with her bare bottom
> hanging
> >out of her clothes and pants down around her knees.   I leaned over
> to get
> a
> >better look and I guess I didn't realize how far I'd moved. I fell
> out of
> the
> >lift.   So, how'd you break your arm?"
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