[MOL] So, "how'd you break your arm?" [01841] Medicine On Line


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[MOL] So, "how'd you break your arm?"



Even if you aren't a skier, you'll be able to appreciate the humor of the
>slopes as written in this account by a New Orleans' paper.
>
>A friend just got back from a holiday ski trip to Utah with the kind of
story
>that warms the cockles of anybody's heart.   Conditions were perfect.  12
>below, no feeling in the toes, basic numbness all over, tell me when we're
>having fun" kind of day.
>
>One of the women in the group complained to her husband that she was in
dire
>need of a restroom.    He told her not to worry, that he was sure there was
>relief waiting at the top of the lift in the form of a powder room for
female
>skiers in distress. He was wrong, of course, and the pain did not go away.
>
>If you've ever had nature hit its panic button in you, then you know that a
>temperature of 12 below zero doesn't help matters.   So, with time running
>out, the woman weighed her options.
>
>Her husband, picking up on the intensity of the pain, suggested that since
she
>was wearing an all-white ski outfit, she should go off in the woods. No one
>would even notice, he assured her.  The white will provide more than
adequate
>camouflage.
>
>So she headed for the tree line, began disrobing and proceeded to do her
>thing.
>If you've ever parked on the side of a slope, then you know there is a
right
>way and wrong way to set up your skis so you don't move.
>
>Yup, you got it.   She had them positioned the wrong way. Steep slopes are
not
>forgiving, even during embarrassing moments. Without warning, the woman
found
>herself skiing backward, out-of-control, racing through the trees, somehow
>missing all of them, and into another slope.
>
>Her derriere and the reverse side were still bare, her pants down around
her
>knees, and she was picking up speed all the while.  She continued on
>backwards, totally out-of-control, creating an unusual vista for the other
>skiers. The woman skied, if you define that verb loosely, back  under the
lift
>and finally collided violently with a pylon.  The bad news was that she
broke
>her arm and was unable to pull up her ski pants.
>
>At long last her husband arrived, put an end to her nudie show, then went
to
>the base of the mountain and summoned the ski patrol, who transported her
to a
>hospital.  In the emergency room she was regrouping when a man with an
>obviously broken leg was put in the bed next to hers.
>
>"So. How'd you break your leg?" she asked, making small talk.
>
>"It was the darndest thing you ever saw," he said. "I was riding up this
ski
>lift, and suddenly I couldn't believe my eyes.  There was this crazy woman
>skiing backward out-of-control down the mountain with her bare bottom
hanging
>out of her clothes and pants down around her knees.   I leaned over to get
a
>better look and I guess I didn't realize how far I'd moved. I fell out of
the
>lift.   So, how'd you break your arm?"