If America Online Was A City
--------------------------------------------------------------------
* You'd live in a place where no two people had the same name.
* You'd only pay $21.95 a month to live there, but half the time you
tried to leave your house, the door would be stuck.
* Once you got outside, even if you were in a hurry, you'd be assaulted
by slimy little door-to-door sales creeps offering you great
AOL 14.4 modems for only $399.99.
* The commute to work is just a double-click away, but every time you
try to leave your driveway, the flow of traffic knocks you back
into your yard.
* 48 hours after moving in, your mailbox would be overflowing with
special offers, promotions and discounts from
www.junkmail.com.
* The local post office would tell your mother you're not a known
resident.
* The local post office won't forward your mail to you when you move.
* If you saw a crime and called 911, they'd reply a week later with a
form letter saying how you "really are important to us".
* Every time you went shopping, you'd be kicked out of the store by a
bouncer screaming, "WE'RE SORRY, THIS STORE IS TEMPORARILY
UNAVAILABLE."
* Whenever you traveled to other cities, people would see your license
tag and laugh at you, behind your back.
* Your so-called friends, ask to receive information, and then get info
that 99% love, but that they don't; and they call the cops.
(America Online's Terms of Service geeks)
* You'd occasionally be sent home during your day by another bouncer
telling you that the city has performed an illegal operation.
* You'd not have any idea who your neighbors are, and most new arrivals
would move in at night, stuff everyone's mailbox with garbage,
and vacate before sun-up.
* The administration would build a huge, state of the art park, and
allow the kids to play there free, then suddenly start demanding
money.
* Upon waking every morning, a voice from above would shout, "HEY! YOU!
YOU WANT AN AOL VISA, DON'T YOU?" To which you say, "No." The
voice then replies, "OK, I'LL ASK YOU AGAIN TOMORROW."
--------------------
If America Online Was A City
--------------------------------------------------------------------
* You'd live in a place where no two people had the same name.
* You'd only pay $21.95 a month to live there, but half the time you
tried to leave your house,
the door would be stuck.
* Once you got outside, even if you were in a hurry, you'd be assaulted
by slimy little door-to-door
sales creeps offering you great
AOL 14.4 modems for only
$399.99.
* The commute to work is just a double-click away, but every time you
try to leave your driveway,
the flow of traffic knocks you back
into your yard.
* 48 hours after moving in, your mailbox would be overflowing with
special offers, promotions
and discounts from
www.junkmail.com.
* The local post office would tell your mother you're not a known
resident.
* The local post office won't forward your mail to you when you move.
* If you saw a crime and called 911, they'd reply a week later with
a
form letter saying how you
"really are important to us".
* Every time you went shopping, you'd be kicked out of the store by
a
bouncer screaming, "WE'RE
SORRY, THIS STORE IS TEMPORARILY
UNAVAILABLE."
* Whenever you traveled to other cities, people would see your license
tag and laugh at you, behind
your back.
* Your so-called friends, ask to receive information, and then get
info
that 99% love, but that
they don't; and they call the cops.
(America Online's Terms
of Service geeks)
* You'd occasionally be sent home during your day by another bouncer
telling you that the city
has performed an illegal operation.
* You'd not have any idea who your neighbors are, and most new arrivals
would move in at night,
stuff everyone's mailbox with garbage,
and vacate before sun-up.
* The administration would build a huge, state of the art park, and
allow the kids to play there
free, then suddenly start demanding
money.
* Upon waking every morning, a voice from above would shout, "HEY!
YOU!
YOU WANT AN AOL VISA, DON'T
YOU?" To which you say, "No." The
voice then replies, "OK,
I'LL ASK YOU AGAIN TOMORROW."
