-----Original Message-----
From: Jim Welter [mailto:welter1@worldnet.att.net]
Sent: Monday, April 12, 1999 7:38 AM
To: RYMAL KENNY & TRISH; BUDDEAU CARL & JAN
Subject: Fw: Personal Ads!
-----Original Message-----
From: RStie39679@aol.com <RStie39679@aol.com>
To: BSt1913@aol.com <BSt1913@aol.com>; lmurray@eoni.com <lmurray@eoni.com>;
Welter1@worldnet.att.net <Welter1@worldnet.att.net>
Date: Wednesday, April 07, 1999 9:33 PM
Subject: Personal Ads!
>***********************************************************************
>The real meaning behind the abbreviations in personal ads:
>
>FIRST THE WOMEN:
>
>40-ish.................. 48
>Adventurer.............. Has had more partners than you ever will
>Athletic................ Flat-chested
>Average looking......... Ugly
>Beautiful............... Pathological liar
>Contagious Smile........ Bring your penicillin
>Educated................ College dropout
>Emotionally Secure...... Medicated
>Feminist................ Fat; ball buster
>Free spirit............. Substance user
>Friendship first........ Trying to live down reputation as slut
>Fun..................... Annoying
>Gentle.................. Comatose
>New-Age................. All body hair, all the time
>Old-fashioned........... Lights out, missionary position only
>Open-minded............. Desperate
>Outgoing................ Loud
>Passionate.............. Loud
>Poet.................... Depressive financially insecure
>Professional............ Real Witch
>Redhead................. Shops the Clairol section
>Reubenesque............. Grossly Fat
>Romantic................ Looks better by candle light
>Voluptuous.............. Very Fat
>Weight proportional to height................ Hugely Fat
>Wants Soulmate.......... One step away from stalking
>Widow................... Nagged first husband to death
>Young at heart.......... Toothless crone
>
>THE MALE SIDE OF THE LIST:
>
>40-ish.................. 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
>Athletic................ Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
>Average looking......... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
>Educated................ Will always treat you like an idiot
>Free Spirit............. Sleeps with your sister
>Friendship first........ As long as friendship involves nudity
>Fun..................... Good with a remote and a six pack
>Good looking............ Arrogant
>Honest.................. Pathological Liar
>Huggable................ Overweight, more body hair than a bear
>Like to cuddle.......... Insecure, overly dependent
>Mature.................. Until you get to know him
>Open-minded............. Wants to sleep with your sister but she's not
> interested
>Physically fit.......... I spend a lot of time in front of mirror
> admiring myself
>Poet.................... Has written on a bathroom stall
>Spiritual............... Once went to church with his grandmother on
> Easter Sunday
>Stable.................. Occasional stalker, but never arrested
>Thoughtful.............. Says "Please" when demanding a beer
>
>
