Dearest Lil,
It has been very hard for me to get up every day knowing that
Angelo is really gone. I still feel like he is going to walk
in the door any minute and say "Daddy Home!" like he used to
every day before he got sick, and the little ones would just
run to him.
Like I told Mam and Wayne it is the hardest at night, when I'm
all alone and the house is so quiet. My l6 year old daughter
(Emily) has been sleeping with me. I sorta asked her if she
wanted to but I think it was more me wanting her to. The bedroom
is just so lonely at night. I sit up and read until I can't hold
my eyes open then I fall asleep. I wake up off and on all during
the night and then have a hard time going back t sleep.
Easter was really hard. The kids and I went to Mass and then I
dropped the kids off at home and went to the cemetary for the
first time after the funeral. I wanted some time alone. It was
much harder than I thought it would be. I don't know if I was
ready for that or not, but I did it anyway. I know in my heart
he is not there but sometimes I feel as though I am abandoning
him there. Is this crazy? Or is this a normal feeling of grief?
I could go on forever about the many different feelings I have
been having but I'd be on here all night. My 7 yearr old's
teacher called me today and said that Elizabeth had been
complaining of a stomach aches yesterday at school and the
nurse talked to her and told her to come back after lunch if
she was still feeling ill. Well, she didn't but today she
was down in the office a couple of times. They finally called
me and suggested that maybe I should pick her up so I did.
I think she was a little jealous of her brother being home the
day before and we had gone to the park, so I picked her up from
school and took her to the park.
The kids and I and my Mom and sisters are all going down to
Floriday on the l6th of April for about 9 days. I am going
to take the kids to Disneyworld and my cousin works at
Anhiser Busch and got my tickets to Busch Gardens. We plan
on having a wonderul time. I HOPE!!
I was in the chat room, but I'm getting a little tired to I
think I'll just go to bed .
Love to everyone,
Mary
>
> Dearest Mary: I think of you all the time, wondering how you and your
> wonderful family are doing, what your doing and all those things that
> are in your life. I pray daily for strength for you and for a peace
> to mantle you. My love, lillian
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