[MOL] CUTE JOKES PART 4 [01591] Medicine On Line

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A funeral service is being held in a Synagogue for a woman who has just
passed away. At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying
the casket out, when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the
casket.  They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the
woman is actually alive ... She lives for ten more years, and then dies.
A ceremony is again held at the same Synagogue, and at the end of the
ceremony, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket.  As they
are walking down the aisle the husband cries out....."Watch out for the

Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another
hunter approached pulling his along too.  "Hey, I don't want to tell you
how to do something...but I can tell you that it's much easier if you
drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into
the ground.  After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.
A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that
guy was right.  This is a lot easier!"  "Yeah, but we're getting farther
from the truck," the other added.

A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to
give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer.
He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought. Turns out that his
next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. The neighbor came for a
visit one day and said, "Chicken farming isn't easy. Tell you what. To
help you get started, I'll give you 100 chickens." The new chicken
farmer was thrilled. Two weeks later the new neighbour stopped by to see
how things were going. The new farmer said, "Not too good. All 100
chickens died." The neighbor said, "Oh, I can't believe that. I've never
had any trouble with my chickens. I'll give you 100 more." Another two
weeks went by, and the neighbor stops in again. The new farmer says,
"You're not going to believe this, but the second 100 chickens died
too." Astounded, the neighbor asked, "What did you do to them? What went
wrong?" Well, says the new farmer, "I'm not sure. But I think I'm not
planting them far enough apart."

After church, Johnny tells his parents he has to go and talk to  the
minister right away.  They agree and the pastor greets the family.

"Pastor," Johnny says, "I heard you say today that our bodies came
 from the dust."

"That's right, Johnny, I did."

"And I heard you say that when we die, our bodies go back to dust."

"Yes, I'm glad you were listening.  Why do you ask?"

"Well you better come over to our house right away and look under
my bed 'cause there's someone either comin' or goin'!"

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick a few things when
he noticed an old lady following him around.  Thinking nothing of it, he
ignored her and continued on.  Finally he went to the checkout line, but
she got in front of him.

"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel
uncomfortable.  It's just that you look just like my son, who just died

"I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "Is there anything I can do for

"Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye mother!' it
would make me feel much better."

"Sure," answered the young man.  As the old woman was leaving, he called
out, "Good bye mother!"

As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was
$127.50.  "How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!"

"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young
trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood.  They
parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the
other end.  At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window
watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.

Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger
coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that
an older guy could outrun a younger one.

As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that
last house was huffing and puffing right behind them.  They stopped and
asked her what was wrong.

Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two men from the gas
company running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!"

One of the smartest men I ever met was Uncle John. One day I saw him
dragging a 25 foot chain out the front gate, and I asked him what he was

"I'm taking this chain to town to get it fixed," Uncle John replied.

"Why are you dragging it?" I foolishly asked.

"Ever try pushing one?" John countered.
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