LOTS MORE "YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF"
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
Your home has more miles on it than your car.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
You've totaled every car you've ever owned...and they are still parked
outside.
You burn your front yard rather than mow it.
Fewer than half of your cars run.
The taillight covers of your car are made of tape.
Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal.
You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.
Your good deed for the month was hiding your brother from the law, for a
few days.
You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for cousin BettySue.
Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a
bath!"
Your momma has ever stomped into the house and announced, "The feud is
on!"
Your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers."
The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
Your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
The best way to keep things cold is to "leave 'em in the shade"
Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
Your grandma was asked to leave a bingo game because of her cussing.
You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.
You use the term `over yonder' more than once a day.
The diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking Institute".
Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
You were shooting pool when your kids were born.
Your favorite Christmas present was a painting of Elvis, on black
velvet.
Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos".
You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food
groups.
The most common words you use are "Howdy, Hey!, How ya'll doin!!"
You have a brother named Bubba, Jimbo or Junior.
You've ever worn shorts and a T-shirt to a funeral home.
You've ever been too drunk to fish.
You ever had to remove a toothpick from your mouth to take wedding
pictures.
You have a rag for a gas cap (on a car that does or does not run).
You look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet `Mr or Ms Right'
You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
You've ever spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
Your Junior/Senior Prom had a day care.
The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".
Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.
Every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.
You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.
Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".
You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.
You bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.
The biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H
Fair.
You mow your lawn and find a car.
You participate in the "who can spit tobacco the farthest contest".
You've ever made change in the offering plate.
The fifth grade is referred to as "your senior year.
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