[MOL] Some other things that could have happened on the day I almost die [00586] Medicine On Line

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[MOL] Some other things that could have happened on the day I almost died.

Some other things that could have happened on the day I almost died.
Forwarded to you by
Grandtime@aol.com (Rich Kuchinsky)
Sandy, Utah

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the 
admission policy.  The new law was that in order to get into Heaven you 
had  to  have a really bad day on the day that you died.  

The policy would go into effect at noon the next day.  So, the next day 
at 12:01 a man came to the gates of Heaven, the angel at the gates, 
remembering the new policy,  promptly  asked the man, "Before I let you 
in, I need you to tell me how your day was   going on the day you died."

"No problem,"  the man said.  "I came home to my 25th floor apartment 
on my lunch hour to discover my wife having an affair.

But her lover was no  where  in sight; immediately I began searching for 
him.  My wife, half-naked was  yelling at me as I searched the entire 

Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the 
balcony and  noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his 
fingertips!  The  nerve of that guy!  Well, I ran out onto the balcony 
and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground.  But wouldn't  
you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and 
he didn't die.  This ticked me off  even more.  In rage, I went back 
inside to get the first thing I could get  my hands on to throw at him.  
Oddly enough the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. I  
unplugged  it, pushed it out onto the balcony and tipped it over the 
side.  It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him!  The excitement of the 
moment was so great that I had a heart attack 
and died almost instantly."

The angel sat back and thought a moment.  Technically, the guy did have 
a bad day.  It was a crime of passion.  So, the angel announces, "OK 
sir, welcome to the Kindgom Of Heaven." and let him in.

A few seconds later the next guy came up.  To the Angel's surprise it 
was Vernon Jordan.  "Mr. Jordan, before I can let you in,  I  need to 
hear about what your day was like before you died."  

Jordan said, "No problem.  But you're not going to believe this.  I was 
on the balcony of my 26th story apartment doing my daily exercises.   I 
had been under a lot of pressure so I was pushing hard to relieve my 
stress.  I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally 
fell over the side!

Luckly I was able to catch myself by my fingertips on the balcony below 
mine.  But all of the sudden this crazy man comes out of his apartment, 
starts crussing, and stomps on my fingers.  Well, of course I fell.  I 
hit some trees and bushes at the bottom, which broke my fall, so I 
didn't die right away.   "As I'm laying there, face up on the ground, 
unable to move and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his 
refrigerator-of all things-off the balcony.  It falls 25 floors and 
lands on top of me, killing me instantly."

The Angel quietly laughs to himself as Jordan finishes his story.   "I 
could get used to this new policy,"  he thinks to himself.  "Very well 
sir,"  the angel announces.  "Welcome to the Kingdom of  Heaven," and he 
lets Vernon enter.  

A few seconds later President Clinton comes to the gate.  The Angel is 
almost too shocked to speak.  Thoughts of assassination and war pour 
through the Angel's head.  Finally he says, "Mr. President, please tell 
me what it was like the day you died."

Clinton says, "OK, picture this.  I'm naked inside a 

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