Re: [MOL] Kathy [00574] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] Kathy



Kathy,

I have not said much about your situation as many others were saying the same
thing I would have advised.  I too was in marriage at one time where I took
mental abuse from a drinker to start.  Every time he was sober he was so sorry
and extra nice to make up for his bad.  Then the drinking got more frequent
and the verbal abuse turned to physical abuse.  When I would try to leave him
he would threaten me with harm to my children or to my family so I stayed.  It
got to the point one night where I could take no more and the children were
with my mom.  I told him I was leaving and said he would get the gun and stop
me.  So used to his threats by then I told him to do what he must because
staying with him was hell on earth. (I honestly did not think he would go that
far)  I started towards the front door in the foyer and he shot me in the hip.
I carry a scar on my lower right side of my back where I had the bullet
removed.  Thank God the children were not home.  I never went back to live
with him after this . It took me almost a year of him stalking me and holding
me at knife point for two hours to finally get help from the authorities to
help him.

The moral of my story is until they are ready to admit they have a problem and
get help, you become their escape ally and it only gets worse.  You made the
right choice, even though it was a hard one.  Never feel like you chose wrong
but tell yourself you saved yourself and allowed him to accept responsibility
for his problem. You will find yourself sleeping better and enjoying life more
in the next month.  Sure you will greive for him and sometimes want to become
weak again.  Don't do it unless he takes the step to get help because it will
only be worse the second go round.  My husband too was seeing another woman.
This was usually when he was the meanest to me and blamed me for his
infidelity because I was sick with cancer and could not be a real woman.  I
had actually started praying to die because he had me thinking I was one big
burden on my whole family.  Thank God I didn't give up.

I am hear if you ever want to talk.  My email address is Sandizhere@aol.com.
I know this decision is a mixed emotional one for you at this time.  You did
good. 

Sandi
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