Re: [MOL] Questions [02248] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] Questions



Hello, dear Martha, how are you? Your situation sounds like it has
caused you a lot of pain, and speaking from experience, there is nothing
like pain to push us into actions that cause us regret later. 

Years ago, when I was going through a divorce, my husband first had my
Blazer repossessed, then insisted on my returning an old car his mother
had given me, which he had never had any interest in. (the courts
approved because "it was his mother's") This left me with 2 toddlers,
living in a rural area, 10 miles from the nearest store with no car (and
no money to buy one). I was furious.

A friend told me how to do something to the car so that after it was
driven about 10-15 miles, the engine would be blown, thus making it
inoperable, and suggested I do this before I returned it. Ah, sweet
revenge! I confess, I was so angry that i did it -- I figured it would
serve him right, and that i was justified, due to his meanness.

I have to tell you that some 17 years later, I still think of it, and I
still regret it. It really had little to do with who HE was, and
everything to do with who *I* was, and the kind of person I wanted to
be. "Justice is mine, says the Lord." Good begets good, evil begets
evil, as they say. Someone once said something to the effect, "I can't
control what a hateful person does to me, but I can prevent him from
changing who I am." In other words, we are to respond kindly in turn to
insults and hurt not for the sake of the person who hurt us, but for
*our* sake. Every time we act in revenge, it does something to us. It
sounds like you might be feeling a little of that now. 

Dear friend, I understand your desire to be "honest". But we have to
always be checking our motives. Our we being "honest" as an act of love
and fair play? Or so that we can feel better by putting someone else in
their place? The Bible talks about "speaking the truth in love," and
that really is the key. And it is tough!

So, I hope I haven't offended, hope I haven't said too much. Just a few
thoughts for what it's worth. 

Congratualtions, by the way, on completing your RCIA class! May God
bless you in this new step in your journey! Love you, Joicy
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