Re: [MOL] Erma & Martha????? [00132] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] Erma & Martha?????



Here it is.


Elena Krumholtz
ekrumholtz@juno.com

>
>A note from Martha Stewart to Erma Bombeck, and the reply.
>
>Hi Erma,
>
>This perfectly delightful note is being sent on paper I made myself
>to tell you what I have been up to.  Since it snowed last night, I
>got up early and made a sled with old barn wood and a glue gun. I
>hand-painted it in gold leaf, got out my loom, and made a blanket in
>peaches and mauves. Then to make the sled complete, I made a white
>horse to pull it  from DNA that I just had sitting around in my
>craft room. By then, it was time to start making the place mats and
>napkins for my 20 breakfast guests. I'm serving the old standard
>Stewart  twelve-course breakfast, but I'll let you  in on a little
>secret: I didn't have  time to make the tables and chairs this
>morning, so I used the ones I had on  hand.
>
>Before I moved the table into the dining room, I decided to add
>just a touch of the holidays. So I repainted the room in pinks and
>stenciled gold stars on the ceiling.  Then, while the homemade bread
>was rising, I took antique candle  molds and made the dishes
>(exactly the same shade of pink) to use for  breakfast. These were
>made from Hungarian clay, which you can get in almost any Hungarian
>craft store.
>
>Well, I must run. I need to finish the buttonholes on the dress I'm
>wearing for breakfast.
>
>I'll get out the sled and drive this note to the post office as
>soon as the glue dries on the envelope I'll be making. Hope my
>breakfast guests don't stay too long -- have 40,000 cranberries to
>string with bay leaves before my speaking engagement at noon. It's a
>good thing.
>
>Love, Martha Stewart
>
>P.S. When I made the ribbon for this typewriter, I used 1/8-inch
>gold gauze. I soaked the gauze in a mixture of white grapes and
>blackberries,   which I grew, picked, and crushed last week just for
>fun.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Response from Erma Bombeck:
>
>Dear Martha,
>
>I'm writing this on the back of an old shopping list, pay  no
>attention  to the coffee and jelly stains.
>
>I'm 20 minutes late getting my daughter up for school, packing a
>lunch with one hand, on the phone with the dog pound, seems old Ruff
>needs   bailing out again. Burnt my arm on the curling iron when I
>was trying  to  make   those cute curly fries, how DO they do that?
>
>Still can't find the scissors to cut out some snowflakes, tried
>using an  old disposable razor . . . trashed the tablecloth.  Tried
>that cranberry thing, frozen cranberries mashed up after I defrosted
>them in  the microwave.
>
>Oh, and don't use Fruity Pebbles as a substitute in that Rice
>Krispie snowball recipe, unless you happen to like a disgusting
>shade that resembles puke!
>
>The smoke alarm is going off, talk to ya later.
>
>Love, Erma
>



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>Awhile ago you sent a joke about Erma Bombeck & Martha Stewart.  I forwarded
>it to a friend, but neither he nor I saved it and he wants to show it to his
>wife.  Does anyone have it so that I could resend it to him?
>
>Chris R.
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