Re: [MOL] CUTE JOKES PART 1 [03009] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] CUTE JOKES PART 1



JO:  HOW CUTE!!!! LOL  Kathy
-----Original Message-----
From: Jo Ciaramitaro <packnife@tir.com>
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Date: Thursday, January 28, 1999 7:36 AM
Subject: [MOL] CUTE JOKES PART 1


>A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He
>had made her coffee.
>
>She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life.  When she got
>to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men in the
>cup.  She said, "Honey, what are the army men doing in my coffee?"
>
>Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV-'The best part of waking up
>is soldiers in your cup!'"
>
>---------------------
>
>
>WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
>
>HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."
>
>WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
>
>HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out.
>Where's the car?"
>
>WIFE: "In the pool."
>
>------------------------------
>
>
>  A Dog at The Movie
>
>A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre.  She has a
>dog on a leash. He stops her and says, "I'm sorry to bother
>you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog was
>really into the movie.  He cried at the right spots, he
>moved nervously in his seat at the boring parts, but most
>of all, he laughed like crazy at the funny parts.
>Did you find that unusual??"
>
>"Yes," she replied, "I found it very unusual ...because he
>hated the book!"
>
>---------------------------
>
>
>Answering Machine Message
>
>"Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving
>messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub,
>and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the
>office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me,
>leave your name and number and they will get back to you."
>
>------------------------
>
>
>Matt's dad picked him up from school to take him to a dental
>appointment.
>
>Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today,
>he asked his son if he got a part.
>
>Matt enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. "I play a man
>who's been married for twenty years."
>
>"That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they'll
>be giving you a speaking part."
>
>-------------------
>
>
>An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they
>decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing
>was wrong with them.
>
>When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the doctor about
>the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the
>couple out, the doctor tells them that they were physically okay but
>might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them
>remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.
>
>Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair
>andhis wife asks, "Where are you going?"
>
>He replies, "To the kitchen."
>
>She asks, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"  He replies, "Sure."
>
>She then asks him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can
>remember it?"
>
>He says, "No, I can remember that."
>
>She then says, "Well I also would like some strawberries on top. You had
>better write that down cause I know you'll forget that."
>
>He says, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with
>strawberries."
>
>She replies, "Well I also would like whip cream on top. I know you will
>forget that so you better write it down."
>
>With irritation in his voice, he says, "I don't need to write that down
>I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen.
>
>After about 20 minutes he returns from the kitchen and hands her a plate
>of bacon and eggs.
>
>She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "You forgot my toast."
>
>---------------------------
>
>
>The best way to keep you teenagers at home is to make the home a
>pleasant place to be . . . and let the air out of their car tires.
>
>---------------------------
>
>
>Q.  How do you get a Microsoft Tech to change a light bulb?
>
>A.  You can't, When Microsoft discover they have a blown light bulb
>      they will just change the industry standard to darkness.
>
>----------------------------
>
>
>"The Lost Purse"
>
>A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping.  It was
>found by an honest little boy and returned to her.  Looking in her
>purse, she commented, "Hmmm....  That's funny. When I lost my bag
>there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."
>
>The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a
>lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
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