[MOL] CUTE JOKES PART 1 [02962] Medicine On Line

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A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He
had made her coffee.

She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life.  When she got
to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men in the
cup.  She said, "Honey, what are the army men doing in my coffee?"

Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV-'The best part of waking up
is soldiers in your cup!'"


WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."

HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."

WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."

HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. 
Where's the car?"

WIFE: "In the pool."


  A Dog at The Movie

A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre.  She has a
dog on a leash. He stops her and says, "I'm sorry to bother
you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog was
really into the movie.  He cried at the right spots, he
moved nervously in his seat at the boring parts, but most
of all, he laughed like crazy at the funny parts.
Did you find that unusual??"

"Yes," she replied, "I found it very unusual ...because he
hated the book!"


Answering Machine Message

"Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving
messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub,
and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the
office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me,
leave your name and number and they will get back to you."


Matt's dad picked him up from school to take him to a dental

Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today,
he asked his son if he got a part. 

Matt enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. "I play a man
who's been married for twenty years."

"That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they'll
be giving you a speaking part."


An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they
decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing
was wrong with them.

When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the doctor about
the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the
couple out, the doctor tells them that they were physically okay but
might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them
remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.

Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair
andhis wife asks, "Where are you going?"

He replies, "To the kitchen."

She asks, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"  He replies, "Sure."

She then asks him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can
remember it?"

He says, "No, I can remember that."

She then says, "Well I also would like some strawberries on top. You had
better write that down cause I know you'll forget that."

He says, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with

She replies, "Well I also would like whip cream on top. I know you will
forget that so you better write it down."

With irritation in his voice, he says, "I don't need to write that down
I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes he returns from the kitchen and hands her a plate
of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "You forgot my toast."


The best way to keep you teenagers at home is to make the home a
pleasant place to be . . . and let the air out of their car tires.


Q.  How do you get a Microsoft Tech to change a light bulb?

A.  You can't, When Microsoft discover they have a blown light bulb
      they will just change the industry standard to darkness.


"The Lost Purse"
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping.  It was
found by an honest little boy and returned to her.  Looking in her
purse, she commented, "Hmmm....  That's funny. When I lost my bag
there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."
The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a
lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
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