Re: [MOL] Hello !/reply [02916] Medicine On Line

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Re: [MOL] Hello !/reply

Hi Fanc,
Right now I am not doing to well myself, my dear friend of 30 years has just
died.  I have been a caregiver for 5 years now, my Mother with IPF, and for
the almost 1 year for my husband with small cell lung cancer.  Now first off
don't you be putting your father in the grave, he is still very much alive,
and may be for a long time.  Just because you fine someone has cancer does not
mean he is going to die.  The Doctors didn't think my hubby would last til
last Christmas, he told them I will be here for another 5 years, untill my
wife is old enough to draw SS, what de didn't know and no one told him was
that I could draw widow benifits next Sept.  Now his Chemo Buddy that the
Doctors said he would have 5 years, died 2 weeks ago.  So that's what the
Doctors know.  Now the one thing that you need to do to help your father is be
positive, and be his piller of his support, don't crash on him, help him on
this cancer journey, it's not fun, and it's not easy, shed the tears somewhere
where he can't hear or see you.  Come here to do all your venting, cause
family don't want to hear or deal with it, cause they are dealing with there
own feelings.  Quit beating yourself up, your daughter is 6 months old, they
can sence when you are upset, these should be the lighthearted times spent
with your daughter.  My hubby will be 73 this year, and we are never ready to
deal with death.  Now think about this, your dad could have a heart attact and
die tomorrow, guess what?  You didn't have any warning, why not take advantage
of this advance notice and make your days with your father meaningful and full
of Love, sharing, caring.  What you need to do is prepare for the worst and
hope for the best and pray, pray, pray, we will.  Any time you feel you need
some answers, someone here might have them for you.  Stay with us we'll be
here for you all the way.  NEVER give up HOPE.  We will love you (((HUG)))
you, laugh and cry with you and let you vent and not get mad at you.  Now take
a deep breath and tell your self that you can help your Dad fight this.
Love and prayers to you and yours,

In a message dated 1/27/99 8:53:59 PM Eastern Standard Time,

<< Subj:	 Re: [MOL] Hello !/reply
 Date:	1/27/99 8:53:59 PM Eastern Standard Time
 From: (lillian jennings)
 Dear Fanc:  Believe me it is not easy to get through this as many of our
 wonderful care givers will tell you; but somehow they have maintained their
 strength and I believe they will be of a wonderful help to you as your
 father enters the cancer journey.  So Chris, Pam, Pj, Nanc and all other
 caregivers come forth and help Fanc.  I bet that 6 month old baby is a
 honey, that is a great age I think.  Fanc, welcome to our wonderful forum,
 and you can vent here and we do understand the frustrations; etc.  Your
 friend, lillian
 -----Original Message-----
 From: FM Haynes <>
 To: mol-cancer <>
 Date: Wednesday, January 27, 1999 8:43 PM
 Subject: [MOL] Hello !
 >Hi ! I just found out that my 76 year old father has pancreatic cancer it
 is in is stomach, pancrease, lymphnoids,
 >and possibly in his lungs. My questions to anyone is how the hell do you
 get through this. I am 31 years old with
 >a 6 month old baby. I am not ready for my father to die damn it.

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