Re: [MOL] Angelo/Martha [02292] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] Angelo/Martha



Good morning, dear Martha:  I appreciate your support more than I can say.
I, too, have often thought that perhaps the stress of what some of us have
gone through has caused our bodies to turn on us somehow.  There are
portions of my life, too, that I can't even bear to think about -- even now.
I think the break up of my first, long marriage was the most devastating
thing that ever happened to me.  It was incredibly painful, and it took
about seven years before I could even bear to think about it.  I was afraid
that if I did, I'd completely fall apart, and I had a teenager to raise.
Then I met kind Dr. Jekyl, who turned out to be Mr. Hyde times ten!  That
was five years of the most incredible abuse and stress.  Talk about a toxic
personality!  I was naive enough to think people like that didn't really
exist!  LOL  They do.  He has cancer, too, now, I've heard -- of the
sinuses.  He's lost one eye because of the radiation, and his beautiful
blonde hair has turned dirty gray.  I wonder if we gave it to each other?

Your husband sounds like a very nice man.  Did the nuns really try to change
his accent?!!!  I can't imagine such a thing.

Idaho is a little bit like Oz in places.  You wouldn't believe it if you saw
the Sawtooth Mountains!  They're magnificent!  People from the East who
think they've seen mountains, marvel at these.  We aren't far from them,
either, and Sun Valley is only a couple of hours away by car -- with very
sparse traffic!

The cost of living isn't outrageous here, I don't think.  I know it's lower
than New York or California.  I believe a medium priced home here is about
$110,000 now.  It used to be much lower, but with the influx of Californians
we've had in the last ten years, the price has been somewhat artificially
inflated.

Your husband should think about coming here.  I'll get him a job in our law
firm!!  LOL  And you and I can go to Oakley and play.

Thanks again, Marth.  You're a real friend.  I'll get some more stories from
my mom and send them to you.  Love, Kathy
-----Original Message-----
From: Martha S Cerreto <MJTCERRETO@prodigy.net>
To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
Cc: mjtcerreto@prodigy.net <mjtcerreto@prodigy.net>
Date: Friday, January 22, 1999 7:00 PM
Subject: Re: [MOL] Angelo/Martha


>Hi Kath!
>
>I've given this a whole lot of thought; I guess anybody on our list would
>have.  I don't know if any of us have come up with explanations, any two of
>which are alike, but I think that part of the reason we have cancer is
>because of a poor ability to deal with the evil that exists in the world,
>e.g., a tendency to take too much on our plates as our fault, etc.  As a
>result, any ability to experience inner peace during some portion of the
>day is upset; some sufferers don't seem to have ever experienced a sense of
>inner serenity.  I would put myself into the group that knew little of it
>before rediagnosis last year, but has found it, and is now, always,
>everyday trying to stay in my peaceful spot, keeping my balance even in
>response to the stresses and strains of everyday life.  So from my
>observation, cancer sufferers tend to be very gentle souls and thus,
>less likely than others to be responsible for such antisocial behavior as 4
>slashed tires--but perhaps I'm started to stray here.
>
>What a drag!  My husband is the Village Attorney for a small village around
>here.  Sometimes someone will do something like that to a trustee if their
>vote on something makes some group angry.  The one positive thing, I guess,
>is that if it happens during a night meeting, there's probably still
>somebody around from the Dept. of Public works who can at least help people
>so they can go home.
>
>I won't tell you what it was like when we lived in a borough of NYC and
>parked on the street in a very nice neighborhood; I think I've blocked it
>out anyway, how many times I went to autoglass places.
>
>I love your stories about Idaho.  You make it sound kind of like Oz in
>early American.  I tell my husband some of what you say.  He has surprised
>me, nodding occasionally, and saying yeah, I heard that too, about places I
>didn't think he knew about.  But I suppose, it's not the first time.
>
>We are thinking of moving out of NY; to somewhere  cheaper to live.  The
>taxes are high, the cost of housing is high and as the years go by, we
>don't feel we're getting a whole lot back for it.  The other thing that my
>husband wants is a longer growing season.  He loves law although he would
>deny this many days, but he would never deny that he loves gardening.
>
>When my husband was little, he lived close to Macon, Georgia.   His
>grandfather had a 75 acre farm.  He moved to Connecticut when he went to
>school.  He still had a Southern accent when he came back---he used to say
>winda instead of window, but the nuns eventually beat it out of him.
>
>For me, I guess, ever since I discovered Faulkner in college I have longed
>to be sitting on my porch swing, chawing on a long thin weed and watching
>the traffic go by.
>
>Good night Kath!  Thanks for the story.  Talk to you tommorrow!  Say hello
>to Jerry!
>
>Martha
>
>
>
>----------
>From: kcorrigan@chgw.com
>To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
>Subject: RE: [MOL] Angelo/Martha
>Date: Friday, January 22, 1999 4:30 PM
>
>Hi, Martha!  I feel a little down this week myself.  We're having such
>overwhelming financial problems recently, I'm having trouble sleeping.
>Everything just sort of caught up with us at once, and it's a mess.  I just
>thought maybe I had everything worked out yesterday, and then someone
>slashed all four of our tires!  This is in Boise, Idaho -- low crime area
>--
>Hah!  Anyway, this was an expense we hadn't counted on, and it really fouls
>things up!!  We'll make it through this, though -- we always do.  Sometimes
>I feel responsible for all this because I got sick.  I know this doesn't
>make sense, and it really wasn't my fault, but everything was fine before
>that happened.  I think you understand what I'm saying.  Enough of that!
>I'm alive and feeling well physically and it's not as if I'm going in front
>of a firing squad or anything -- right?  Right!!
>
>I'm so glad you liked my little Idaho stories.  They warm my heart, too,
>but
>I liked yours about your grandmother in New York so much!  I told my mother
>about our stories back and forth, and she thought it was just great.  I
>need
>to go back to Oakley from time to time just to see the old Mormon houses
>with the fish scale roofs and the bay windows and cupolas -- porches all
>the
>way around and porch swings.   This is how I remember who I am.  There is
>an
>old opera house there where my grandmother used to play the piano for the
>silent movies.  It's been restored to its original splendor and the locals
>put on musicals three times a year.  I think you know that for some reason
>musical talent runs in Mormon families.  It doesn't just RUN in Oakley --
>it
>gallops!!!  They pack the house for two weeks at a time, and their
>productions are incredibly professional.  We went to see "Guys and Dolls"
>and "Camelot" last year.  Jerry was flabbergasted.  The girl who played
>Guinevere sang as well as Julie Andrews ever has.  Every other person in
>the
>production was related to me!! LOL  Oakley is an enchanted little valley.
>I
>wish you could come to Idaho someday.  We could go there.  To you, Martha,
>it would be like another planet!  LOL
>
>There!  Now I feel better.  Thank you for letting me vent and bitch and
>moan.  I would love to talk to you on the phone sometime.  I'll bet you
>have
>the cutest accent!!!  Much love -- Kathy
>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Martha S Cerreto [SMTP:MJTCERRETO@prodigy.net]
>> Sent: Thursday, January 21, 1999 2:40 PM
>> To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
>> Cc: mjtcerreto@prodigy.net
>> Subject: Re: [MOL] Angelo/Martha
>>
>> Hi Kathy!
>>
>> I don't know, I feel down this week.  Weepy.  Could you write some more
>> about your family; maybe some Whipples?  And Make the story long Kath!  I
>> love you and miss you too.  You haven't written so much lately; I feel
>> Idaho needy!
>>
>> Your friend,
>>
>> Martha
>>
>> ----------
>> From: kcorrigan@chgw.com
>> To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
>> Subject: RE: [MOL] Angelo/Martha
>> Date: Thursday, January 21, 1999 3:58 PM
>>
>> Dear Martha:  I love you, too!  Kathy
>>
>> > -----Original Message-----
>> > From: Carla [SMTP:blessu@worldnet.att.net]
>> > Sent: Wednesday, January 20, 1999 11:30 PM
>> > To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
>> > Subject: Re: [MOL] Angelo/Martha
>> >
>> > Amen... Love you!  Carla
>> > -----Original Message-----
>> > From: Martha S Cerreto <MJTCERRETO@prodigy.net>
>> > To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
>> > Cc: mjtcerreto@prodigy.net <mjtcerreto@prodigy.net>
>> > Date: Thursday, January 21, 1999 1:04 AM
>> > Subject: [MOL] Angelo
>> >
>> >
>> > >Dear Mary,
>> > >
>> > >I just went out tonight to my, fairly new church.  I joined, what they
>> > call
>> > >the secular order of St. Francis.  They were asking everybody for a
>> list
>> > of
>> > >their intentions; so I just blurted out could you add Angelo Fufaro.
>> Of
>> > >course, they did.
>> > >
>> > >I have been starting to cry tonight, since I turned on the computer
>and
>> > >have been reading all the messages.  You know that we all love you
>> Mary,
>> > >and I am crying now even though I never met you.
>> > >
>> > >If there's two things I've learned from life Mary, it's how hard it is
>> to
>> > >watch someone you love move from this world to the next, if that is
>> going
>> > >to happen for Angelo.  The other thing is that when my times comes, I
>> > want
>> > >to be as comfortable as I can be.  That all translates Mary, like
>> people
>> > >have been writing, please call Hospice ASAP.
>> > >
>> > >The strain of what you're watching is almost too much to watch without
>> > >breaking apart.  And you can't break apart Mary.  He wouldn't want you
>> > to,
>> > >and neither would your kids.  Also, they can make sure that he's not
>in
>> a
>> > >terrible amount of pain and probably make you feel better too, just by
>> > >talking.  So they can serve two purposes at the same time.
>> > >
>> > >May God bless you, my sweet, dear friend,
>> > >
>> > >Martha
>> > >
>> > >
>> >
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