[MOL] Cancer has Affected My Life Profoundly by Duane [02060] Medicine On Line

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[MOL] Cancer has Affected My Life Profoundly by Duane

Friends, I am not sure if this went over the MOL line; but it is too good to miss; so I am sending it on.  Your friend, lillian
Cancer has Affected My Life Profoundly

I wrote this article as therapy.  I was asked just how has Cancer affected
your life.  It took much thinking, beyond the self pity, hollowness inside,
and pure fear.  I use this article to bring myself back into reality everytime
I start sliding downhill, and feel that everyone is against me, folks don't
love me, I want to give up etc.

I hope that this article helps you folks just alittle.

Cancer has affected My Life in the following Manner
By:  Duane Chelenza

Until March of 1997, I lead what one might consider a normal uneventful life.
The daily considerations presented by the job, and family life consumed what
one considers the core of life.  However, when I was informed that I had
Prostrate Cancer that had metastasized into my bones, I could not believe it.
I had no fore warning.  Until January 1996, I had never ever been confronted
with any major illnesses or surgical procedures, and then Cancer struck
unexpectedly.  I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the very long
trauma tunnel I'm in.

Dealing with one's fragile mortality face to face is not only scarey, but also
profoundly intimidating.  Life is no longer the same.  Physical and mental
awareness of one's mortality is elevated to the highest plain to see.  Coping
with one's un-certain future is one thing, but when the uncertainty of life is
thrown upon your family also, new frontiers have to be challenged and defeated
one by one.

No one understands the changes that one makes because of physical discomfort,
or the mental attitude alteration except for the person suffering the changes.
Conversely, the affected person does not understand the perplexing position
the illness has placed on the family members.  Only they understand their
plight.  Changes have to be made, accommoda-tions have to be invented to allow
for changes to occur.  In my case, my family had been tormented by two years
of sur-geries, staph infections, depression and recovery, only to be strapped
with another awesome cross, which is Cancer.

I have had to alter my ego, to accommodate loss of professional pride,
stature, and financial means.  I have had to un-derstand that no longer could
I be the person I was three short years ago.  As well, I had to come to grips
that my family was suffering also.  My family was suffering to a point of pure
anger and avoidance.  Most of all I had lost purpose.  Pur-pose of life, which
makes a person, feel whole and needed.

Cancer has forced me to realize that kindness, and fellowship is more
important than power and prestige.  I have come to the understanding what
friendship is, and what it means.  Cancer has forced me to look beyond my
self-imposed narrow limitations to see boundless opportunities for self-
enhancement, as well as the enhancement of others.

I have realized that I have Cancer, Cancer does not have me.  It will take my
life someday, maybe.  Nevertheless, until that day comes, I shall endeavor to
help others understand struggle is the only way one can enjoy achievement. 

My life is better because of Cancer, in that until that slap in the face of
reality occurred, I would have continued with my employment frustrations,
everyday the façade, and never found the true meaning of life, and it's
simplicity.  The realiza-tion that everyone has a Cross-to bear, and that
neither you nor they are alone with the burden makes a smile and an
understanding ear priceless.

To look at each day, as a present from GOD, and that on the marrow will be the
past, therefore, Cancer has taught me how to seize the moment. Whether it be
helping someone, listening to a worn-out joke and laughing, or letting people
know you care and understand their plight, and know that you are there to help
them through it all, makes my life worthwhile, even with the "Big C". 

Duane Chelenza
1923 Wilmington Court
Norman OK 73071
(405) 364-8682 Email dchelenz@swb.net