I guess it is okay to cry now.. isn't it??
It is so hard sometimes to see so many wonderful people who are in so much
pain from life. Life is supposed to be an adventure of wonder and awe, joy
and pleasure, giving and receiving love... and then there are dreaded diseases,
I sit here now with the tears streaming down my
face and know that I am tired.. I am tired of feeling the pain and grief of this
awful disease! I am tired of writing to someone that has come to mean so
much to me and telling them that I am with them, when I cannot be... Yet,
what good would it be for me to be there? In my heart I know that it would
not be any better than what I and many others are doing and that is lifting our
heart to God with a pure heart of prayer for our friends..
I know that it is this pure heart that brings
the tears to my eyes, and if I gave up feeling, then I wouldn't hurt, but I
would be giving up the very essence of me. I am no more than my heart and
much less than I desire to be.
I know many of you well by now and know that I
am not the only one who is hurting right now over our friends and I know that I
am not the only one who has shed tears for them. I guess I just needed to
say that I was and that it is okay. It doesn't mean that I have lost
faith, nor given up hope for their healing..it just means that it hurts to see
I have grown so much on this cancering journey
and I am not the same and I praise God for that. Two years ago, I wouldn't
have been able to reach out and get to know any of you.. I wouldn't have been
willing to show you much of the real me....I wouldn't have told anyone that I
hurt and was crying... Two years ago, I would have missed the very essence
of life that is awakening in me and growing stronger every day.
We are a very strong group and some are more
religious than others, but I ask that everyone take a minute and lift up Angelo,
Mary and their children... Cricket, Sandi and their families and ask
God for love, support, strength and comfort that surpasses all
Much love and hugs and more of God's blessings..