Re: [MOL] for coffee lovers... [00584] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] for coffee lovers...



Joicy,
I absolutely loved this!  My Mom (and me too but not as much) drinks coffee
just about non stop.  If she ever needs a transfusion it will have to be
Folgers with a little bit of cream!  Thanks for the shaky laughs but I have
to go now.  Gotta brew another pot!  Karin
-----Original Message-----
From: Becker, Joicy <Joicy.Becker@PTSEM.EDU>
To: 'MOLers' <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
Date: Thursday, January 07, 1999 10:52 AM
Subject: [MOL] for coffee lovers...


>COFFEEEEEEEEEE
>
>You know you drink too much coffee when...
>
> * Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
> * You ski uphill.
> * You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
> * You speed walk in your sleep.
> * You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee drinkers are
>    good in the sack."
> * You answer the door before people knock.
> * You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
> * You just completed another sweater and you don't know
>   how to knit.
> * You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
> * You sleep with your eyes open.
> * You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
> * The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
> * You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away
>   without using the timer.
> * You lick your coffeepot clean.
> * You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
> * You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse
>   and you don't even work there.
> * You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
> * Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
> * You chew on other people's fingernails.
> * The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
> * You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their
>   margaritas.
> * You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
> * You can jump-start your car without cables.
> * Cocaine is a downer.
> * All your kids are named "Joe."
> * You don't need a hammer to pound in nails.
> * Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
> * You don't sweat, you percolate.
> * You buy milk by the barrel.
> * You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
> * You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
> * You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize
>   it's not plugged in.
> * You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
> * You've built a miniature city out of little plastic
>  stirrers.
> * People get dizzy just watching you.
> * When you find a penny, you say, "Find a penny, pick it
>   up. Sixty-three more, I'll have a cup."
> * You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
> * The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
> * Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
> * Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava
>   lamp.
> * You're so wired, you pick up FM radio.
> * People can test their batteries in your ears.
> * Your life's goal IS to "amount to a hill of beans."
> * Instant coffee takes too long.
> * You channel surf faster without a remote.
> * When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to
>   the last drop."
> * You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest
>   of eternity in a coffee can.
> * You want to come back as a coffee mug in your next life.
> * Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
> * You'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
> * You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the
>   coffee.
> * You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean
>   beer.
> * You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar."
> * You get drunk just so you can sober up.
> * You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
> * Your Thermos is on wheels.
> * Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
> * You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
> * You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
> * You short out motion detectors.
> * You have a conniption over spilled milk.
> * You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
> * Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
> * You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
> * You don't tan, you roast.
> * You don't get mad, you get steamed.
> * Your three favorite things in life are...coffee before and
>   coffee after.
> * Your lover uses soft lights, romantic music, and a glass
>   of iced coffee to get you in the mood.
> * You can't even remember your second cup.
> * You help your dog chase its tail.
> * You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
> * Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
> * You introduce your spouse as your "Coffeemate."
> * You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."
> * Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an
>   I.V. hookup.
>
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