>> 1. Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the
sweaty things. >> >> 2. One tequila, two tequila, three
tequila, floor. >> >> 3. One nice thing about egotists:
They don't talk about other >>
people. >> >> 4. To be intoxicated is to feel
sophisticated but not be able to say
>>
it. >> >> 5. Never underestimate the power of stupid
people in large groups. >> >> 6. The older you get, the
better you realize you were. >> >> 7. I doubt, therefore
I might be. >> >> 8. Age is a very high price to pay for
maturity. >> >> 9. Procrastination is the art of keeping
up with yesterday. >> >> 10. Women like silent men, they
think they're listening. >> >> 11. Men are from earth.
Women are from earth. Deal with it. >> >> 12. Give a man
a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how
to >> fish, and he will sit in a boat and
drink beer all day. >> >> 13. A fool and his money are
soon partying. >> >> 14. Do pediatricians play miniature
golf on Wednesdays? >> >> 15. Before they invented
drawing boards, what did they go back to? >> >> 16. Do
infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy
adultery. >> >> 17. If all the world is a stage, where
is the audience sitting? >> >> 18. If God dropped acid,
would he see people? >> >> 19. If one synchronized
swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? >> >>
20. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still
#2? >> >> 21. If work is so terrific, how come they have
to pay you to do it? >> >> 22. If you're born again, do
you have two bellybuttons? >> >> 23. If you ate pasta
and antipasta, would you still be hungry? >> >> 24. If
you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? >> >>
25. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at
them?
