Re: [MOL] APPRECIATE ALL YOU MOLERS [00352] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] APPRECIATE ALL YOU MOLERS



Hi Sonya!

You really sound like you're at a disadvantage, being so far away from your
step dad.  You say he has lung cancer, but it sounds very unclear about
whether and if so, where, the cancer may also exist in other parts of his
body.
I'm no medical professional, but I have breast cancer that has spread to my
lungs and have also had difficulties with a cough over the past year.  It
is much better now.  Some of his cough could be from smoking.  I have also
had trouble with shortness of breath, which my doctors have always given me
the impression was related to my cancer.  If there's cancer in the lungs,
it would seem that there's something in there taking up room and keeping
them from expanding and contracting to the full extent they once were able.
 I wonder if they  have not checked on his response to the radiation
because he hasn't had that many treatments yet, as you say.

I don't know you or your mother, of course, but I don't think anything is
so cut and dried when you are dealing with cancer, or really, most medical
illness.  The worst thing for me, I guess, when I first heard I had cancer
was a sense of loss of control of my life.  It sounds like your mother,
maybe is feeling that way and she's trying to put everything into boxes,
e.g., x number of radiation treatments and then in God's hands.  There are
some people on this list who've had lung tumors treated and shrunk and then
were operated on and had them removed.

It's very difficult for a cancer patient, or anyone, with a medical
illness, who doesn't have someone very strong there to advocate for them. 
I can certainly attest to the fact that it's hard to find good doctors, and
in general, to get helpful, concise information from doctors in English
even if you are standing a few feet away from them, talking to them.  I
have seen people ill in my family more than once, and also been ill myself
and my reaction to this was mostly to fall apart.  If a relative does that,
they, of course, are not much help.  It is only after a lot of hard
experience that I have developed into the type of person that most doctors
who have known me regard as a pain in the butt.  

I don't believe much in statistics, as don't many people on this list. 
They've been proven wrong  so many times.

It sounds like you have to really evaluate what commitments you have in the
different areas of your life so you can assess what you really can do for
your dad.  The American Cancer Society does have some programs to help with
care at home and transportation to treatments.  They will also try to send
someone in to talk to a patient.  They try to find a person around the same
age who has already been treated for a similar type of cancer.   

I wish you well, and will pray for healing for your father.  I would only
add that I have been on this list 7 months or so and have found it to be a
great source of support, education and love.  I urge you to stick with it.

Love and Hugs,

Martha Cerreto

----------
> From: Sonya Walker <sonya_86@yahoo.com>
> To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> Subject: Re: [MOL] APPRECIATE ALL YOU MOLERS
> Date: Wednesday, January 06, 1999 1:51 AM
> 
> Hi to all! My name is Sonya and right before Christmas I found out my
> step father has lung cancer. He is 56 and the cancer has spread
> throughout both of his lungs. When I heard about this for some reason
> I wasn't surprised it's almost as if someday with him I knew it would
> happen. He's smoked since he was 14 he's always said. In past
> holidays/birthdays mom or my day would ask for cigarettes or lighters
> as presents and I refused to do so. I didn't want this to happen and
> feel like I was a part of what got him there. It's more a personal
> feeling than what I believe would be true.  The majority of the cancer
> is behind his heart I've been told. He had a heart attack 13 years ago
> and he also is a diabetic. I'm curious as to how both of these will
> effect his health on top of his cancer? His esophogus is closing up.
> He went in because he felt a lump in his throat and he was coughing
> bad and breathing poorly. Nothing has been said to me about throat
> cancer. Does it sound like he has cancer in his throat also? The
> doctors have started radiation treatments 5 times a week for 4 hours
> each day and once a week of chemotherapy. It's been going on for 2
> weeks now but he's only had 4 days of raditation because of the
> holidays. I've been told that the radiation won't make a difference
> until after his third week. Mom said they haven't even x-rayed him to
> see if it's doing a thing. She said he isn't getting nauseated which
> the doctors say is a good thing. I heard they do so many radiation and
> chemotherapy treatments and then that's that his life is up to God
> from there. Is this true? He's in Arkansas and I'm in Virginia. This
> is hard for me because I know no other father then him. He's been in
> my life since I was 3. I have 2 daughters who love him very much also.
> The doctors have given him 2 months to 12 months to live. At first
> they had thought that cancer was in his stomach also but nothing has
> been mentioned of this. They did tell my mom who has been relaying
> everything to me that they will not perform surgery on his lungs
> because the cancer is spread throughout them both. I'd really like to
> get any information on what I am about to deal with. My mother is not
> asking very many questions and the doctors don't seem to be giving
> very many answers. My mom is on medicare and is a nurse's aid with
> little salary. My dad didn't work before all this. I'm an only child
> with no money to give them ourselves. My husband is in the Air Force
> and we are having hard times ourselves and I'm a stay at home mom. Can
> the cancer society or anyone else help them out finacially? Mom is
> looking into information of filing bankruptcy. She thinks she can do
> that and keep her house. Is this possible? I hate to hear such words
> from her mouth. I feel as though I have to be the one who finds out as
> much as I can because my mother wants to face this through God and
> herbal remedies which is fine for now but I want to be there for her
> and be fully informed. I feel pretty much lost and the separation of
> many miles sucks at a time like this. He keeps telling me on the phone
> he's fine and he sounds fine but I know he's not fine. What can I do
> to make his life happy for both of them for that matter. She didn't
> buy him any Christmas presents because she told me "what do I buy him
> with all this going on? Any information would be appreciated. 
>   
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ---W & M Rose <FEARME@bigpond.com> wrote:
> >
> > Welcome Tami,
> > It is nice to hear from one of the many 'silent' molers out there, and
> > lovely to hear that we have been helping. Please feel free to jump
> right in,
> > say whatever you feel, and ask any questions you need.
> > :) Much love
> > Mam
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Todd Hagerman <sewfun@bright.net>
> > To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
> > Date: Tuesday, 5 January 1999 13:00
> > Subject: [MOL] APPRECIATE ALL YOU MOLERS
> > 
> > 
> > >I HAVE BEEN RECEIVING EMAIL FROM ALL OF YOU SINCE THE END OF
> NOVEMBER.
> > >THERE IS SO MUCH LOVE AND CARING. I HAVE ONLY BEEN READING IT AND
> NEVER
> > >POSTING MY OWN MESSAGE.
> > >  MY DAD WAS DIAGNOSED IN JUNE '98 WITH NON-SMALL CELL LUNG CANCER
> > >STAGE III, MY SISTER-IN-LAW WAS DIAGNOSED WITH GRADE 2 ASTROCYTOMA
> > >(BRAIN TUMOR) 2 YEARS AGO, IT COVERS THE FRONT QUARTER OF HER BRAIN
> AND IT
> > >IS INOPERALBLE.
> > >  I FEEL SO HELPLESS SOMETIMES, NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY OR DO. I
> HAVE BEEN
> > >FORWARDING ALOT OF EMAILS FROM MOLERS TO MY DAD. HE REALLY SEEMS TO
> BE
> > >UPLIFTED AND GAINS ALOT OF INFO.
> > >  MY NAME IS TAMI AND I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS TIME TO JOIN IN.
> > >
> >
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