Re: [MOL] Monday [00251] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] Monday



Dear Sarah,

There are two things I would wonder about.  The first is whether there is
anything else which can be done for him, as a bio-psycho-social being to
make him more comfortable.  Is there music he likes to listen to that could
be got, a TV and VCR brought to his room with favorite movies, anything
done to his room to make him feel more tucked in and cuddled, any medicine
to lessen him pain and uplift his mood.

The other piece, I am certainly no expert on.  I watched my mother die of
cancer.  There was one time when she was in the hospital and I went to see
her.  I was too gung-ho, aye-aye captain, talking about all the things she
had to do to take care of herself when she got out of the hospital this
time.  She withdrew from me that visit, a bit.  At first, I felt really
hurt.  Then I realized that the problem was my manner.  For the rest of her
life I tried to be kind of like clothes to her.  If it was winter in her
soul, I was her coat, hat and gloves.  If she was feeling good or like she
could laugh, I was her new summer dress.

But I don't suppose anyone can really tell you what to do.  The answer is
in your two souls and how you interact with each other and only you can
find it.

Give Greg a big hug and kiss for me,

Love,  

Martha

----------
> From: Gregory Andruczyk <reddog173@thedoghousemail.com>
> To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> Subject: [MOL] Monday
> Date: Monday, January 04, 1999 5:06 PM
> 
> Hello, 
> 
> I was just going through Greg's mail and thought maybe I could update you
on what's going on with him.  I have been upset/worried all weekend, seems
like he is going downhill so fast and I can't get there to see him until
thursday.
> 
> Greg came home this past thurs and was fortunately home for his birthday
sat, but returned to the hospital yesterday with kidney failure and acites
(sp?) which they've helped him with/removed some of the the fluid, so he's
more comfortable now.  Anyhow, he's been very depressed, crying and saying
he wants it to be over with/wants to die, and I don't know if I blame him
in some ways.  I can't bear to see him suffer like this anymore, he's in
pain all the time and it seems like they can't keep him out of the hospital
anymore.
> 
> Well, I'm rambling and I'm not sure what I'm asking you-I know you all
have been keeping him in your prayers, I sincerely appreciate that and I
know he does too.  I guess I am wondering-when do you stop trying to treat
someone and just let them be at peace?  Or how do you know if someone is
giving up when there may still hope?  I wish I knew how to be with him, I
don't want to see him give up if there is a chance he can get better, but I
also don't want him to go through treatments when they may be futile.  I
know he's had so many things done to him and each time they seem to make
him sicker, they give him a sense of hope and then he has to stop
treatments because he's too ill.  I just don't know, maybe someone has some
advice here?
> 
> At any rate, he's probably coming home with hospice there daily, he's not
wanting to do anything more and once they have him stable they're going to
let him go home.
> 
> Sincerely, Sarah
> ---
> 
> 
> 
> Whaat!!! Have you tried The Doghouse??! Get your FREE WEB-BASED EMAIL
account at: 
> http://www.thedoghousemail.com
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