[MOL] Fwd: Joke -Erma & Martha [00078] Medicine On Line


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[MOL] Fwd: Joke -Erma & Martha



In a message dated 1/1/99 9:36:11 PM Eastern Standard Time, Dgent915 writes:

> >A note from Martha Stewart to Erma Bombeck, and the reply.
>  >
>  >Hi Erma,
>  >
>  >This perfectly delightful note is being sent on paper I made myself
>  >to tell you what I have been up to.  Since it snowed last night, I
>  >got up early and made a sled with old barn wood and a glue gun. I
>  >hand-painted it in gold leaf, got out my loom, and made a blanket in
>  >peaches and mauves. Then to make the sled complete, I made a white
>  >horse to pull it  from DNA that I just had sitting around in my
>  >craft room. By then, it was time to start making the place mats and
>  >napkins for my 20 breakfast guests. I'm serving the old standard
>  >Stewart  twelve-course breakfast, but I'll let you  in on a little
>  >secret: I didn't have  time to make the tables and chairs this
>  >morning, so I used the ones I had on  hand.
>  >
>  >Before I moved the table into the dining room, I decided to add
>  >just a touch of the holidays. So I repainted the room in pinks and
>  >stenciled gold stars on the ceiling.  Then, while the homemade bread
>  >was rising, I took antique candle  molds and made the dishes
>  >(exactly the same shade of pink) to use for  breakfast. These were
>  >made from Hungarian clay, which you can get in almost any Hungarian
>  >craft store.
>  >
>  >Well, I must run. I need to finish the buttonholes on the dress I'm
>  >wearing for breakfast.
>  >
>  >I'll get out the sled and drive this note to the post office as
>  >soon as the glue dries on the envelope I'll be making. Hope my
>  >breakfast guests don't stay too long -- have 40,000 cranberries to
>  >string with bay leaves before my speaking engagement at noon. It's a
>  >good thing.
>  >
>  >Love, Martha Stewart
>  >
>  >P.S. When I made the ribbon for this typewriter, I used 1/8-inch
>  >gold gauze. I soaked the gauze in a mixture of white grapes and
>  >blackberries,   which I grew, picked, and crushed last week just for
>  >fun.
>  >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>  >Response from Erma Bombeck:
>  >
>  >Dear Martha,
>  >
>  >I'm writing this on the back of an old shopping list, pay  no
>  >attention  to the coffee and jelly stains.
>  >
>  >I'm 20 minutes late getting my daughter up for school, packing a
>  >lunch with one hand, on the phone with the dog pound, seems old Ruff
>  >needs   bailing out again. Burnt my arm on the curling iron when I
>  >was trying  to  make   those cute curly fries, how DO they do that?
>  >
>  >Still can't find the scissors to cut out some snowflakes, tried
>  >using an  old disposable razor . . . trashed the tablecloth.  Tried
>  >that cranberry thing, frozen cranberries mashed up after I defrosted
>  >them in  the microwave.
>  >
>  >Oh, and don't use Fruity Pebbles as a substitute in that Rice
>  >Krispie snowball recipe, unless you happen to like a disgusting
>  >shade that resembles puke!
>  >
>  >The smoke alarm is going off, talk to ya later.
>  >
>  >Love, Erma
>  >
>  
>  


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From:	Elena M. Krumholtz, INTERNET:ekrumholtz@juno.com
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	[unknown], INTERNET:xttw32c@prodigy.com
	[unknown], INTERNET:jimarkey@freenet.columbus.oh.us
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	[unknown], BillWalker17
	
Date:	11/30/1998 10:53 PM

RE:	: Erma & Martha

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Date: Mon, 30 Nov 1998 22:56:46 -0500
Subject: : Erma & Martha
Message-ID: <19981130.225655.3462.8.EKRUMHOLTZ@juno.com>
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From: ekrumholtz@juno.com (Elena M. Krumholtz)


Elena Krumholtz
ekrumholtz@juno.com

>
>A note from Martha Stewart to Erma Bombeck, and the reply.
>
>Hi Erma,
>
>This perfectly delightful note is being sent on paper I made myself
>to tell you what I have been up to.  Since it snowed last night, I
>got up early and made a sled with old barn wood and a glue gun. I
>hand-painted it in gold leaf, got out my loom, and made a blanket in
>peaches and mauves. Then to make the sled complete, I made a white
>horse to pull it  from DNA that I just had sitting around in my
>craft room. By then, it was time to start making the place mats and
>napkins for my 20 breakfast guests. I'm serving the old standard
>Stewart  twelve-course breakfast, but I'll let you  in on a little
>secret: I didn't have  time to make the tables and chairs this
>morning, so I used the ones I had on  hand.
>
>Before I moved the table into the dining room, I decided to add
>just a touch of the holidays. So I repainted the room in pinks and
>stenciled gold stars on the ceiling.  Then, while the homemade bread
>was rising, I took antique candle  molds and made the dishes
>(exactly the same shade of pink) to use for  breakfast. These were
>made from Hungarian clay, which you can get in almost any Hungarian
>craft store.
>
>Well, I must run. I need to finish the buttonholes on the dress I'm
>wearing for breakfast.
>
>I'll get out the sled and drive this note to the post office as
>soon as the glue dries on the envelope I'll be making. Hope my
>breakfast guests don't stay too long -- have 40,000 cranberries to
>string with bay leaves before my speaking engagement at noon. It's a
>good thing.
>
>Love, Martha Stewart
>
>P.S. When I made the ribbon for this typewriter, I used 1/8-inch
>gold gauze. I soaked the gauze in a mixture of white grapes and
>blackberries,   which I grew, picked, and crushed last week just for
>fun.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Response from Erma Bombeck:
>
>Dear Martha,
>
>I'm writing this on the back of an old shopping list, pay  no
>attention  to the coffee and jelly stains.
>
>I'm 20 minutes late getting my daughter up for school, packing a
>lunch with one hand, on the phone with the dog pound, seems old Ruff
>needs   bailing out again. Burnt my arm on the curling iron when I
>was trying  to  make   those cute curly fries, how DO they do that?
>
>Still can't find the scissors to cut out some snowflakes, tried
>using an  old disposable razor . . . trashed the tablecloth.  Tried
>that cranberry thing, frozen cranberries mashed up after I defrosted
>them in  the microwave.
>
>Oh, and don't use Fruity Pebbles as a substitute in that Rice
>Krispie snowball recipe, unless you happen to like a disgusting
>shade that resembles puke!
>
>The smoke alarm is going off, talk to ya later.
>
>Love, Erma
>



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