Re: [MOL] Introduction 0 albeit a bit longer than I intended [13728] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] Introduction 0 albeit a bit longer than I intended



Thank you Christine.



At 07:18 PM 8/1/98 -0400, you wrote:
>Suzanne,
>Welcome to the group. There are many here will will be able to help you. It
>is a wonderful, caring group. You sound like you have such a wonderful
>outlook and positive attitude. You're doing all the right things. Being
>stubborn and a control freak can work to your advantage in this situation.
>Welcome and I look forward to getting to know you better.
>Christine
>At 06:46 AM 01/08/98 -0400, you wrote:
>>Hi everyone!
>>
>>I have been monitoring your list now for over a week (will I ever get
>>through it all:) !) and decided it was time for a more or less formal
>>introduction.
>>
>>I am 51 and live near Baltimore, MD.  
>>
>>About two months ago, I was having some trouble breathing - didn't seem
>>serious as we were having many code red days and I do smoke - even people
>>who don't smoke often have trouble on code red days.  I had been really
>>tired for a few months, but attributed that to some pretty big changes in
>>my life in general.  Stress, etc.  Had been having a cough, but between the
>>smoking an a good case of bronchitis once or twice a year, didn't give that
>>much though either.
>>
>>Finally went to the doctor and the bottom line after x-rays and CT scans of
>>all shapes and types is that I have stage IV non small cell inoperable lung
>>cancer.  
>>
>>First they found a pleural effusion in my left lung between the pleura and
>>my lung itself - before all was said and done over a gallon of fluid was
>>taken out of there and I had an operation to try to seal off the area so no
>>more liquid could seep in - while the oncological surgeon explained that
>>this operation had a success rate of 80-85%, naturally there are thoughts
>>of the other 15% - won't know for certain which group I am in till next
>>week - 4 weeks after the surgery when they will be able to get a clear
>>picture of what has happened since.  Surgeon also saw through scope some
>>small nodules forming in my lung.
>>
>>The biggest thing to deal with here is that two different cancer cells were
>>found in the fluid, but so far the specialists have been unable to find a
>>primary site for the cancer, hence the stage IV.  They know the plerua is
>>malignant, but with the liquid (fully metastisized) moving throughout my
>>body, where else it may be attaching is a mystery.  I was told that
>>sometimes a primary site is never found.
>>
>>So I am now on chemo every week for as long as I can take it with an
>>unknown end.  I take Taxol and Navelbine which is a slightly unusual
>>combination, but my oncologist sent the fluid to a lab that tested it with
>>all possible chemo combinations for liklihood of effectiveness and this is
>>what they come up with.  If it doesn't work as expected, then we will try
>>something else.  By the way inbetween drugs, they inject a serious of drugs
>>that are designed to keep me from being sick and so far I have been
>>fortunate - a little mild queasiness sometimes and generally quite tired,
>>but other than that - nothing.  
>>
>>Even still have my hair, although I understand it can go quite suddenly -
>>the chemo has played hell with my perm and my color though - oh well!  :)
>>My personal beautician has worked with many cancer patients so he is ready
>>for me when it happens.
>>
>>Apparently the prognosis for this is not good - my doctor who is the head
>>of oncology at a good cancer center here (not Johns Hopkins) is very honest
>>without being brutal - he explains everything to me and always makes time
>>answer all of my questions, even though some of them seem silly to me.  I
>>could have from 6 months to several years.  From what he has seen on the
>>reports, he wants to buy me at least a year and maybe longer as he knows
>>what is "in the works" so to speak and believes the new stuff may help me
>>greatly.
>>
>>The only thing he didn't consider in his prognosis is me.  At first I
>>accepted it without question - then I looked around at all the beautiful
>>people I love so much and decided there was no way in heaven or hell that I
>>am ready to leave right now, so the other side is just going to have to
>>wait a bit.  I pray and sometimes visualize (I personally like a rocket
>>headed for a black hole - nothing ever comes back from a black hole if what
>>the scientists tell us is correct.)
>>
>>This was such a shock as I am certain many of you know.  One day I am
>>reasonably healthy with nothing that seemed super abnormal and almost the
>>next I am a terminal cancer patient.  (in my book terminal can mean 10
>>years, by the way, or longer).
>>
>>I am reading Choices with was recommended on Usenet and a friend
>>recommended Love, Medicine, and Miracles.  Still can't read too much of
>>them at one time - it gets overwhelming.  
>>
>>Still I am determined to make the hangman wait for my schedule and not his.
>> (Nothing like being a control freak, is there! hehehehe)
>>
>>Right now I am not working - get tired very easily and I also have the
>>shoulder pain which some days is unbearable.  I treat it with some
>>exercise, heat, and a pillow under the arm which does seem to help.
>>
>>This may sound strange to you, but my personal doctor recommended about 6
>>names to me when I was first diagnosed and told me that one particular
>>doctor was the person she would see if she got cancer - she said he was
>>caring, thorough, and didn't try to sugarcoat what what happening.  So I
>>chose him and he appears to be all she said he is, so I have not sought a
>>second opinion at this time.  Naturally that is not to be precluded in the
>>future.  Sometimes I feel I am crazy, but I really do think he is doing the
>>best for me at this time.
>>
>>Really didn't intend to ramble on so, so I do thank you for "listening."
>>Am very impressed by this group - good information, jokes, and caring
>>people - a terrific combination.
>>
>>Cause you know what?  No matter how determined I am that I will beat all
>>the odds for this thing, it is still dammed scary.
>>
>>Suzanne
>>
>>I also am trying to make my diet better (am the original junk food junkie),
>>taking good vitamin supplements, eating as many fruits as I can force
>>especially grapes, and an curious about the essaic (did I spell that right)
>>that many of you have talked about.
>>
>>It is so easy for me just to stay home and sort of retire from the rest of
>>my life.  Thank goodness for wonderful loving friends and family.  My
>>brother is even coming in from Germany next week. And today I am making
>>myself go to Rehobeth - can't stay the night - don't have the funds, but it
>>is about a 2.5 hour drive so if my friend and I leave in an hour or two, we
>>should have a nice day.  I ahve always loved the beach and decided that I
>>wanted to see it NOW!  
>>It has always been very good for me.
>>
>>Some peronal stuff -  adore all the wonderfule people in my life ; also
>>have two cats and love to read, shop and enter sweepstakes.  I am still
>>shopping a bit which I know I wouldn't be if I truly believed there was no
>>hope left.
>>
>>I love mysteries and suspense and can truly recommend a book called "The
>>Alienist" which is wonderful - takes place in New York just before the turn
>>of the century and written by an historian which is wonderful because I
>>learned all kinds of tidbits about life then that probably would have
>>excapted me otherwise.
>>
>>Oh yes, and two months ago I won two airline tickets anywhere American
>>flies.  Am going to use them in the late fall to see a friend I have not
>>seen in many years who just happens to live in sunny Ft. Lauderdale.
>>
>>Hopefully by then my disability will have come through - if not I'll wing
>>it (excuse the pun!).
>>
>>
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