I don't usually go in for jokes like this, but - if taken in a playful
spirit - it *is* sort-of funny. I hope nobody gets offended by it.
-Jean
Date: Monday, July 27, 1998 11:13 PM
>Subject: Fw: Fwd[2]:Windows 98 - Recall Request
>
>
>>
>>
>>
>>>
>>> : 7/27/98 7:19 AM
>>> Thought you might enjoy-----
>>>
>>>
>>> Windows 98
>>> It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Arkansas
>>> edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside
>>> Georgia.
>>> If you have one of the Arkansas editions you may need some help
>>> understanding the commands. The Arkansas edition may be recognized
>>> by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS 98 with a
>>> background picture of the General Lee superimposed on a Confederate
flag.
>>> It
>>> is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.
>>> Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My Computer is
>>> called This Infernal Contraption, Dialup Networking is called Good
Ol'
>>> Boys, Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard, Hard Drive is
>>> referred to as 4 wheel drive, and floppies are them little ole
plastic
>>disc
>>> thangs.
>>> Other features:
>>> Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a garbage
>>> bag and duct tape.
>>> OK = ats aww-right
>>> cancel = hail no
>>> reset = awa shoot
>>> yes = shore
>>> no = Naaaa
>>> find = hunt fer it
>>> go to = over yonder
>>> back = back yonder
>>> help = hep me out here
>>> stop = ternit off
>>> start = crank it up
>>> settings = sittins
>>> programs = stuff at does stuff
>>> documents = stuff I done done
>>> Also note that winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or
>>> punctuation marks.
>>> Some programs that are exclusive to winders 98
>>> tiperiter................A word processor
>>> colering book............a graphics program
>>> addin mershene...........calculator
>>> outhouse paper...........notepad
>>> jupe-box ................CD Player
>>> iner-net.................Microsoft Explorer
>>> pichers..................A graphics viewer
>>> IRS......................M/S accounting software
>>> IRS2.....................M/S accounting software with hidden files
>>> coon dog.................American kennel club records
>>> fishin...................Bass Anglers Sportsman Society records.
>>> NRA......................National Rifle Association
>>> shot gun ................Remington Arms price list
>>> riffel...................Winchester price list
>>> pisstel..................Smith & Wesson price list
>>> truck....................Ford &Chevrolet dealers in GA. by zip code
>>> house....................Nearest Mobil home repair service by zip
code
>>> car .....................same as truck just need two list in Texas
>>> cuzzins..................family history usually a 3 meg file
>>> tax records..............usually an empty file
>>> shells...................ammunition inventory another 3 meg file
>>> bud......................list of Budwiser dealers by zip code
>>> rasin....................NASCAR racing schedule includes list of
>>> TV stations that carry the races
>>> car n truck Parts........nearest Junk yard by zip code
>>> doc .....................veterinarians by zip code
>>> We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy
>>> of the Arkansas edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a
>>replacement
>>> version.
>>>
>>>
>>>
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