Dear Ross,
I can't relate to your wonderful experiences with your family as Barb
and I have no children, but I certainly can relate to some of the
benefits of what cancer brought us and that was the meaning of cherished
life and true love. Seems as though when many marry, the meaning of
love is but a word. True love comes with years of ups and downs, better
and for worse and in sickness and health. It was the last part, sickness
and health, that established a growing nurturing passion in comraderie,
partnership, frienship. I guess the true meaning of marriage and love
results in a partnership of comraderie, friendship, and caregiver for
each other and you know what....after 30 years that is great. Would hate
to break in a new partner, for sure. I am truly blessed. NOthing
missing in our lives, we have each other and we have a family of each
other as you have with your family. That is something to thank God for.
Thanks Ross, you certainly have your head on straight and I am certian
you family love you as you love them.
God bless
marty and Barb
Ross Ylitalo wrote:
>
> Lil, Marty,
>
> I'm enjoying your discussion, and my thought was not
> only do these things hold true between spouses, but
> between parents and children.
>
> One way that I think I've matured emotionally, with the
> help of Cancer, is now when I'm babysitting and find
> the boys outside in their stocking feet, stomping through
> mud-puddles, I'm a lot less apt to go on a rampage,
> trying to teach weird concepts like normalcy to little boys.
> One thing I hear myself saying, which I never heard
> myself saying before, is "don't sweat the small stuff."
>
> That little saying has brought me a lot of peace and
> quiet. I might someday start a philosophy, maybe
> I'll call it "DOSEMFF" (Don't Sweat the Small Stuff.)
>
> Ross
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Martin Auslander <fitecancer@earthlink.net>
> To: Medical On Line Forum <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>; Lillian
> <firefly@islc.net>
> Date: Tuesday, July 28, 1998 2:46 AM
> Subject: [MOL] Marital Compromises and values
>
> >Dear Lil,
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >I do believe Barb and I have found a method for compromise to the point
> >
> >where we still have disagreements, but it is on a level of maturity and
> >
> >respect between a man and a woman, and a husband and spouse. It wasn't
> >
> >always like that, until Barb was diagnosed. We have had numerous
> >
> >consultations with psychologists to change negative beliefs to positive
> >
> >attitudes which also included marital stress since we were partners in a
> >
> >business for 20 years. Much had to be addressed, and since that
> >
> >occurred, we have had a renewed marriage, relationship which includes
> >
> >looking forward to each day with my beloved partner. I would love to
> >
> >share with you and anyone else how this miracle, the miracle of life and
> >
> >living as a result of cancer occurred.
> >
> >
> >
> >God Bless
> >
> >marty auslander
> >
> >
> >
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