Re: [MOL] Marital Compromises and values [13266] Medicine On Line

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Re: [MOL] Marital Compromises and values

It's so sad, Christine, because people don't realize that this early
faze is just infatuation, not love. They've done studies that show that
we experience a chemical reaction in the infatuation phase that is like
a drug in our system. And many people get addicted to the "high," and
keep switching relationships to keep the high going, because like drugs,
your body builds a tolerance to it. The irony is that real love doesn't
start until you get PAST the infatuation. And if you're used to rocky
relationships, a good relationship doesn't feel "natural" or familiar,
and love isn't what we think it is. 

With my track record (I could probably write the book on bad
relationships! LOL!) I didn't think I would ever get it right. And then
there I am training to be a pastor who will do pre-marital counseling
(God DOES have a sense of humor!LOL!) But in one of my classes, the prof
said, "you know, the problem is that we get folks too late in the
relationship to do any good -- the patterns are already set." A little
light bulb went off in my head, and I decided that 1. I was going to
pick the man in my life, based on what was really important, and 2. we
would get into couples counseling early in the relationship. And I did
both, we've been married five years, and it just gets better. My prayer
is that it didn't happen too late for my kids to benefit -- they're 19
and 21, and love Tim, and love our marriage, but who knows! 

By the way, loved the picture of you and your kids! Beautiful!! Love,

Christine wrote:
> Lovely letter joicy. You have such a way with words. We seem to share the
> same philosophy. Another point about buying into T.V. and movie models of
> romance is that they often show the beginning of a relationship when
> everything is exciting and new, filled with passion. That feeling doesn't
> last but is replaced with a deeper feeling of mutual respect, commitment,
> companionship, etc. You get the point. Often people feel that once that
> initial thrill is gone, love is gone. People are too quick to throw in the
> towel and don't know what they are missing.
> Christine
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