Dear Lil,
I do believe Barb and I have found a method for compromise to the point
where we still have disagreements, but it is on a level of maturity and
respect between a man and a woman, and a husband and spouse. It wasn't
always like that, until Barb was diagnosed. We have had numerous
consultations with psychologists to change negative beliefs to positive
attitudes which also included marital stress since we were partners in a
business for 20 years. Much had to be addressed, and since that
occurred, we have had a renewed marriage, relationship which includes
looking forward to each day with my beloved partner. I would love to
share with you and anyone else how this miracle, the miracle of life and
living as a result of cancer occurred.
God Bless
marty auslander
lillian jennings wrote:
>
> Very good message dear bro.; but how not to bicker and argue is the secret
> passage that we need to know also. Not that my husband and I bicker or argue.
> LOL! Actually is is rare; because with cancer I've learned that he is more
> important than any silly argument over nothing. Thanks your sis, Lillian
>
> Martin Auslander wrote:
>
> > Another good article abstracted from Womans World Magazine issue June
> > 28, 1998.
> >
> > "Fighting with your spouse can lower your immunity, according to a
> > recently published study. Wives had higher levels of
> > immunity-suppressing stress hormones in theeir system when their
> > arguments with their husbands and vice versa were the least
> > constructive. Negative behavior, such as criticing each other and
> > denying responsibility for problems, seemed most harmful to womens
> > health."
> >
> > On a personal note and experience, I have found the article to be true
> > as a result of the numerous interviews of those survivors in my cancer
> > support group and in the chemotherapy department of our hospital for
> > journals I have been logging and writing for future reference. One of
> > the questions I had asked was "were you under any toxic stress prior to
> > your diagnosis?" In the majority of the replies the answer was yes and
> > the reason being, marital concerns and arguments.
> >
> > The article does not give any suggestions how to avoid the disagreements
> > or arguments. But, I also have learned a number of ways to avoid just by
> > experience of those that were interviewed. The arguments if continued
> > after diagnosis and during therapy for cancer will inhibit and limit the
> > healing process. AS for the suggestions, I can only share my experiences
> > from personal opinion, as I am not a psychologist and marital counselor.
> > But the issue is important, it is relevant to cancer, and it must be
> > addressed and overcome.
> >
> > Have a great day all and God Bless
> > marty
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