[MOL] Response to my friend whose husband has cancer/thought it'd be ins [13170] Medicine On Line


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[MOL] Response to my friend whose husband has cancer/thought it'd be inspirational for you, too/Jean



Oh, Marny. What a difficult time--made more difficult by the "limbo" of
waiting.

My most positive thoughts and prayers surround you both. May the Divine
Spirit that sustains us all manifest in you and through you, and give you
the strength to do whatever it is you need to do, as well as the ability
to
recognize the boundless caring and support that is available for you to
lean
on whenever you *don't* feel strong enough. May the two of you feel more
connected than ever, and may this experience bring you gifts to
balance--or,
better yet, outweigh--its challenges.

Whatever happens, I hope you'll stay on the Decluttr list and let us
support
you in our own way.

I recently edited a short article about the meaning of life. The author,
a
man in his early 60s, wrote most movingly and vividly about having had a
prostate-cancer scare several years ago. I'm not comfortable quoting his
as-yet-unpublished work  without his permission, and he's currently out
of
the country, so I'll just try to paraphrase. He waited about a week for
the
results of the biopsy. He was astonished to discover that despite his
justifiable anxiety, he spent those days feeling a deep and encompassing
joy: very intensely aware of "the mystery and the beauty and the love
[that
were] everywhere" around him. At the same time, he felt something similar
to
what you, Marny, were expressing when you acknowledged "thinking that
clutter is not so bad ... ": he became starkly conscious of having a new
appreciation for what's genuinely important in life. Rather than
scrambling
after an endless series of goals and projects, he saw, at least briefly,
that these are not what makes his life meaningful. Instead, it is about
being "lovingly and joyously connected" (or, I would suggest, perhaps
*noticing* his connection) to the Whole of which we are all a part, and
to
celebrate the wonder and the mystery of it all in every moment that
remained
to him on this earth.

None of us knows how long we are going to be granted the chance to live
and
love on this planet. One of my colleagues in the Canadian Association of
Professional Speakers, a sweet and generous sales trainer named Tom
Stoyan,
has a trademark moment in his seminars: he recalls for us an exercise
that's
often used in personal-growth sessions, involving considering what we'd
do
differently if we found out we have only 6 months or a year to live.
After
pausing just long enough to allow his audience's minds to focus on that
question (or, perhaps more commonly,  to recoil in instinctive horror at
the
thought), he says simply, "And I ask you--how do you know you have *that*
long?"

My personal challenge to all of us today is to do as the old James Taylor
song advises: "Shower the people you love with love"--whether or not the
floor is spotless, the table is visible, or the ants are under control.
In
the end, none of matters nearly as much as we may think. Just as few
people
lie in their deathbeds thinking "I wish I'd spent more time at the
office,"
I suspect that few of us would, if faced with the imminent prospect of
ending our sojourn here on earth, find ourselves thinking, "I wish I'd
kept
my house/office neater." Am I doing good work--the work I was put here to
do? Do I make sure to love--and to express my love frequently
to--everyone
whose presence brightens the days of my life? How did *my* presence make
a
difference in someone else's life today? These are the questions I hope
I'll
remember to ask myself every morning and evening.

In love and light,
Rica


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