Re: [MOL] Re Vicci! [12822] Medicine On Line


[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]

Re: [MOL] Re Vicci!



I HAVE noticed that relatives are never in a hurry to leave. I must make it
too comfortable and easy for them. I guess I'll have to make living here
not quite so pleasant.
Christine

At 09:14 AM 22/07/98 -0700, you wrote:
>Dear Christine,
>My parents always had relatives living with us, usually the babies, when
>parents couldn't cope.  And I've followed in the same way.  Always someone
>with us.  Or us helping someone and I've found it doesn't pay most of the
>time.  People resent you for helping them do something that they know they
>should be doing theirselves.  I haven't learned after 30 years.  
>Now your dealing with your sister.  Why do people act that way?  Why can't
>they just be happy for the help?  And then get on with their lives?  Do you
>notice that they also aren't in any hurry about leaving?  Crazy  Love Vicci
>
>----------
>> From: Christine <abcwacct@mail.cycor.ca>
>> To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
>> Subject: Re: [MOL] Re Vicci!
>> Date: Sunday, July 19, 1998 8:59 PM
>> 
>> Reading the various messages on this topic reminds me of my brother who
>> stayed with us for 7 months. He was an alcoholic. We finally threw him
>out
>> and it was the best thing we could have done for him.He has been in AA
>now
>> for about 5 years. He sounds very much like Vicci's son. Even off the
>> alcohol, my brother could still work on his personality and behaviour.
>> Now my sister has been staying with us for 2 months. Her behaviour, at
>> times, has been less than appropriate. It is difficult but I believe I
>will
>> have to get tough with her. No matter what we do, she is totally
>> unappreciative, inconsiderate and talks about us behind our back. You
>think
>> you know someone!
>> Christine
>> At 05:54 PM 19/07/98 -0700, you wrote:
>> >Hi Vicci,
>> >I have had some experience with people who fail to concern themselves
>with
>> >the needs of others. I have tended to put up with it when I shouldn't
>have.
>> >The problem is, behavior doesn't change if people will put up with
>> >misbehavior. He behaves himself at the doctor's office because he knows
>> >they won't (don't have time to) put up with the nonsense.
>> >
>> >Have you ever dealt with an alcoholic or with the rehab programs? Some
>of
>> >us tend to be enablers. This is a much discussed topic with people in
>the
>> >alcohol rehab program. It isn't only alcoholism that has enablers. We
>who
>> >love someone who exhibits inappropriate behavior tend to make excuses
>for
>> >it because we love him/her. We are not doing him a favor and we are
>> >certainly not helping ourselves.
>> >
>> >A winning personality which attracts others is often accompanied by an
>> >attitude that "the rules that govern the rest of the world don't apply
>to
>> >me." And as long as that attitude is reinforced by the rest of the
>family
>> >it won't change.
>> >
>> >I knew they made us take all those psychology classes for something. I
>> >guess I sound like a teacher, again. (lol)
>> >
>> >Your friend
>> >
>> >
>> >Liz P. Of Yakima
>> >
>> >
>> >------------------------------------------------------------------------
>> >This is an automatically-generated notice.  If you'd like to be removed
>> >from the mailing list, please visit the Medicine-On-Line Discussion
>Forum
>> >at <http://www.meds.com/con_faq.html>, or send an email message to:
>> >majordomo@lists.meds.com
>> >with the subject line blank and the body of the message containing the
>line:
>> >unsubscribe mol-cancer your-email-address
>> >where the phrase your-email-address is replaced with your actual email
>> >address.
>> >------------------------------------------------------------------------
>> >
>> >
>> 
>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>> This is an automatically-generated notice.  If you'd like to be removed
>> from the mailing list, please visit the Medicine-On-Line Discussion Forum
>> at <http://www.meds.com/con_faq.html>, or send an email message to:
>> majordomo@lists.meds.com
>> with the subject line blank and the body of the message containing the
>line:
>> unsubscribe mol-cancer your-email-address
>> where the phrase your-email-address is replaced with your actual email
>> address.
>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>This is an automatically-generated notice.  If you'd like to be removed
>from the mailing list, please visit the Medicine-On-Line Discussion Forum
>at <http://www.meds.com/con_faq.html>, or send an email message to:
>majordomo@lists.meds.com
>with the subject line blank and the body of the message containing the line:
>unsubscribe mol-cancer your-email-address
>where the phrase your-email-address is replaced with your actual email
>address.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>

------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is an automatically-generated notice.  If you'd like to be removed
from the mailing list, please visit the Medicine-On-Line Discussion Forum
at <http://www.meds.com/con_faq.html>, or send an email message to:
majordomo@lists.meds.com
with the subject line blank and the body of the message containing the line:
unsubscribe mol-cancer your-email-address
where the phrase your-email-address is replaced with your actual email
address.
------------------------------------------------------------------------