[MOL] Today [12433] Medicine On Line

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[MOL] Today

First let me say thank you Liz and Lillian for the words of encouragement.
The Dr. today basically said the same thing.  The only difference is that he
suggested performing a medininoscopy(?) to determine if there is a slight
chance the tumor could be removed and to verify if the surrounding nodes were
involved.  If they are not, chemo would not be needed. The CT scan said the
nodes looked clean however, from what I have heard the CT scan is not always
accurate.  The dr. I saw on Friday @ Johns Hopkins did not mention the
medininoscopy.  I believe this is due to the size (4.8).  He felt it best to
start with chemo and radiation from the get go.  I  am waiting for this stupid
oncologist to call back now.  He has cancelled my initial appointment 2 times
now.  He is through my HMO.  One thing I will say, the dr. at Hopkins knew a
good deal about the stereotactic radiation being done at SIUH.  When I
questioned the dr. today, he had never heard of it. That put me off a little
bit. I do not think I will return to him.

My mind is so confused right now.  I just want them to do something and do it
NOW!!!! It is exactly one month today from the day I started having initial
chest pains wheezing.  And although I have come far in 30 days. It is not far
enough for me. I am soooo frustrated............I told my husband today, I
believe in miracles and I am ready for the Big Guy to lay one on me right now.
Come on Big Guy!

I will get through this.  The cancer will not get me, the stupid drs. will.

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