Re: [MOL] Re Vicci! [12366] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] Re Vicci!



The old saying goes, you can pick your friends; but you can't pick your family.!

Christine wrote:

> Reading the various messages on this topic reminds me of my brother who
> stayed with us for 7 months. He was an alcoholic. We finally threw him out
> and it was the best thing we could have done for him.He has been in AA now
> for about 5 years. He sounds very much like Vicci's son. Even off the
> alcohol, my brother could still work on his personality and behaviour.
> Now my sister has been staying with us for 2 months. Her behaviour, at
> times, has been less than appropriate. It is difficult but I believe I will
> have to get tough with her. No matter what we do, she is totally
> unappreciative, inconsiderate and talks about us behind our back. You think
> you know someone!
> Christine
> At 05:54 PM 19/07/98 -0700, you wrote:
> >Hi Vicci,
> >I have had some experience with people who fail to concern themselves with
> >the needs of others. I have tended to put up with it when I shouldn't have.
> >The problem is, behavior doesn't change if people will put up with
> >misbehavior. He behaves himself at the doctor's office because he knows
> >they won't (don't have time to) put up with the nonsense.
> >
> >Have you ever dealt with an alcoholic or with the rehab programs? Some of
> >us tend to be enablers. This is a much discussed topic with people in the
> >alcohol rehab program. It isn't only alcoholism that has enablers. We who
> >love someone who exhibits inappropriate behavior tend to make excuses for
> >it because we love him/her. We are not doing him a favor and we are
> >certainly not helping ourselves.
> >
> >A winning personality which attracts others is often accompanied by an
> >attitude that "the rules that govern the rest of the world don't apply to
> >me." And as long as that attitude is reinforced by the rest of the family
> >it won't change.
> >
> >I knew they made us take all those psychology classes for something. I
> >guess I sound like a teacher, again. (lol)
> >
> >Your friend
> >
> >
> >Liz P. Of Yakima
> >
> >
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