Dear Lillian,
You were much kinder to Rich than he deserves but it does help me to put it
all in perspective. I'm in agreement with Liz......I don't have time for
someone who has already damaged theirselves with drugs and now won't listen
to the good advice from Dr's., parents, friends. BUT...he just came back
from the river WITH his girlfriend and their daughter and I had a low key,
hit below the belt, talk with him. He was respectful and listened and I
hope, learned, that this behavior will NOT be tolerated. My Mom also has a
colostomy because of "short bowel syndrome" lost when they didn't do
surgery on her fast enough because of a kinked bowel. I talked alot about
how she manages her illness and the way she treats people. I told him he
has no right to be obstinate and that if it continued he would be asked to
leave. I think I really have to be tough with this guy. That's how it was
with his drugs. He was NOT welcome here. Although he would tell anyone
that his parents would always be there for him. That is not true. We were
all very sick of him.
Anyway, he took it well and will be reminded of inappropriate behavior as
soon as it starts from now on. Tough love for him and off the pity pot, I
say.
LOL You are great. Much love Vicci
----------
> From: lillian jennings <firefly@islc.net>
> To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> Subject: Re: [MOL] Re: Vicci
> Date: Sunday, July 19, 1998 4:38 PM
>
> Vicci, you know young people never think that they could dye and they
flirt with
> death under this belief. Now your son has learned that indeed he could
have
> died and is just terribly scarred of it. He could be covering his fear's
with
> an attitude; so I do believe counseling is an excellent idea. This could
also
> help him stay off of drugs also. He is feeling sorry for himself (we
have a
> nick name for that sitting on the pity pot) coined by our dear John.
This is
> something we all do from time to time, it is natural; as there are many
> adjustments that must be made, many decisions and so forth. The rest of
you
> will have to play tough love, I love you; but I don't like what you are
doing"
> Keep the statements short and sweet; but firm and stick to what you have
said.
> Make sure everyone in the household is in agreement. Meanwhile and it
will take
> some time, you know you have us to learn on, that we understand venting
and that
> we will keep you all in our prayers. Oh, by the way, you have a normal
family
> in this day and age. God bless, your friend, Lillian
>
> Vicci Ewen wrote:
>
> > Dear Carla,
> > There are no paperclips beside the envelope. Some just come in and
some I
> > have to hit the "reply to author" button. I'm going to check with my
> > server.
> > I haven't seen a download button anywhere. Remember I'm pretty new to
this
> > computer stuff. But it sure does facinate me. Love Vicci
> >
> > ----------
> > > From: ken naehring <blessu@worldnet.att.net>
> > > To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> > > Subject: [MOL] Re: Vicci
> > > Date: Saturday, July 18, 1998 9:45 PM
> > >
> > > Is it possible that you have a paperclip to open this as an
attachment,
> > or a
> > > download button or something??? Many of the email services do
something
> > > different so I can't tell you exactly, but you may want to check
under
> > your
> > > email questions for attachment information.... Love you, Carla
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: Vicci Ewen <vicci@wave.net>
> > > To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
> > > Date: Saturday, July 18, 1998 10:47 PM
> > > Subject: Re: [MOL] Re TO ALL MEMBERS FOR YOUR USE !
> > >
> > >
> > > >Dear Lillian, I've mentioned this before but.....upon opening your
> > mail,
> > > >nothing is there. I have to hit Reply To and then I see your
message.
> > Do
> > > >you think anyone else is having this problem? I used to have to
skip
> > over
> > > >your empty msgs (only a couple of times, cuz that drives me crazy. I
> > have
> > > >to know what your saying) until I hit the "reply to author" button
and
> > > >there you are. Anyone else having this problem? Or just me? The
> > letter
> > > >to the new ones on MOL must be read. It's to valuable to be missed.
So
> > I
> > > >thought I would mention it once again. Thanks Vicci
> > > >
> > > >----------
> > > >> From: LILLIAN JENNINGS <firefly@islc.net>
> > > >> To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> > > >> Subject: [MOL] Re TO ALL MEMBERS FOR YOUR USE !
> > > >> Date: Thursday, July 16, 1998 7:53 PM
> > > >>
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > DEAR FRIENDS OF MOL: I have taken the time to search the web
and
> > put
> > > > togeather a comprehensive welcome and site locations to
include,
> > > >hospice,
> > > > financial, books, medical dic., legal; etc. to help you respond
to
> > new
> > > > queries. Please review and if you see any changes that need to
be
> > > >made or
> > > > additions to be added send me the info. and I will insert and
> > resend
> > > >to all
> > > > molers. Molers may want to save this to a floppy disk as not
to
> > > >overload
> > > > their hard drives. Thanks your friend, Lillian
> > > >
> > > > WELCOME TO YOUR MOL CANCER FORUM
> > > >
> > > > Here you will meet a wonderful caring group of indiv
individuals
> > who
> > > >are
> > > > cancering or who are loved ones and friends that are advocates
for
> > > >those
> > > > cancering. Individuals in this group are not in the medical
> > > >professional
> > > > field. Therefore,we do not endorse a treatment, drug or
product.
> > Our
> > > > people combined do have many year's of accumulated knowledge
and
> > > > expierence, who come from all walks in life and are able to
lend
> > > >tremendous
> > > > assistance to help you through this journey.
> > > >
> > > > There are a few matters of importance to address.
> > > > It is the general assumption of the group that one can use
> > alternative
> > > > treatments (with your doctors permission) in conjunction with
> > > >traditional
> > > > therapy.
> > > > We feel that an individual who has had testing and is returning
to
> > the
> > > > doctor should take someone with them as an extra set of ears.
> > > > It must be remembered that this is a most stressful time for
you.
> > We
> > > >also
> > > > agree that a second or even a third opinion is healthy. One
needs
> > to
> > > >shop
> > > > for the right doctor for them; as each of us are so different
not
> > only
> > > >in
> > > > personality; but our bodies react differently.
> > > > You should be seeking nothing but the best doctors and
hospital,
> > > >remember
> > > > this is your life and you want to be in control. The best way
to
> > be
> > > >in
> > > > control is to acquire all the information needed for your
> > particular
> > > > cancer; so that you and your doctor can descide the best
treatment
> > for
> > > >you.
> > > >
> > > > We find stress is our worse enemy, it is so important to remove
> > > >yourself
> > > > from stressful situations and non positive thinkers.
> > > > There are so many new drugs and treatments our there for most
> > cancers
> > > >that
> > > > lend hope to all.
> > > > Be prepared for you doctors visits with questions. Should the
> > doctor
> > > > interrupt you while you are questioning explain that you have
more
> > > > questions. Make sure the doctor speaks to you in lay terms and
> > that
> > > >he is
> > > > positive also.
> > > > Too often the doctor will give a gloomy statistical report,
thus
> > > >taking
> > > > hope away from the patient and we find so many people who far
out
> > live
> > > >the
> > > > guess of any doctor. Last; but never least make sure that you
eat
> > > >healthy
> > > > and that you keep your immune system built up.
> > > > Again, we are here for you, we are a place of compassionate
> > comfort, a
> > > > place you can rant and rave knowing that we too have done that.
A
> > > >place of
> > > > shelter; whereas all of us know what you are going through.
Your
> > > >friends
> > > > of the MOL CANCER FORUM
> > > >
> > > > TRADITIONAL SITES
> > > > National Cancer Institute http://rex.nci.nih.gov
> > > > Univ of Penn
http://cancer.med.upenn.edu
> > > > Cancer Notes on the Net http://www.cancernews.com
> > > > Medicine On Line http://www.meds.com
> > > > MD Anderson http://www.mdanderson.org
> > > > Mem. Sloan-Kettering http://www.mskcc.org
> > > >
> > > > Alternative Medicine
> > > >
> > > > www.canceranswers.com
> > > > 85% CancerAnswers - Alternative Treatments
> > > > 84% Cancer Information -Alternative Treatments
> > > >
> > > > www.chiro.org
> > > > 84% CANCER TREATMENTS/ ALTERNATIVE
> > > > 84% Alternative Remedies for Cancer and other diseases.
> > > >
> > > > www.meds.com
> > > > 84% Re: Alternative cancer treatments [00299]
> > > > 83% 5. Internet Resources on Cancer
> > > >
> > > > BOOKS "50 Esential Things to
Do
> > When
> > > >the
> > > > Doctor
> > > > Says it is
> > Cancer",
> > > >Greg
> > > > Anderson
> > > > On Line Medical Dic. omd@www.graylab.ac.uk
> > > >
> > > > National Association for Home Care
> > > > c/o Consumer Guide
> > > > P.O. Box 14241
> > > > Washington, DC 20003
> > > > (202)547-7424
> > > > (202)547-3540 FAX
> > > > Web site: http://www.nahc.org/
> > > > Trade association providing referrals to home or hospice care.
> > > >
> > > > The Oley Foundation
> > > > 214 Hun Memorial, A-23
> > > > Albany Medical Center
> > > > Albany, NY 12208-3478
> > > > (518)262-5079
> > > > (800)776-OLEY
> > > > E-mail: mailto:taylor@ccgateway.amc.edu
> > > > Web site: http://www.wizvax.net/oleyfdn
> > > > Support for home enteral and/or parental nutrition therapy.
> > > >
> > > > Olsten HealthCare
> > > > 175 Broadhollow Road
> > > > Melville, NY 11747
> > > > (516)844-7800
> > > > (800)66-NURSE
> > > > Web site: http://www.olsten.com/
> > > > Provides home health care services including chemotherapy,
> > nutrition
> > > >and
> > > > hydration therapies, pain management, physical therapy, and
general
> > > >nursing
> > > > services.
> > > >
> > > > Visiting Nurse Association of America National Office
> > > > 3801 East Florida Avenue, Suite 900
> > > > Denver, CO 80210
> > > > (888)866-8773
> > > > (303)753-0218
> > > > Provides skilled nursing and assisted living services.
> > > >
> > > > Amherst H. Wilder Foundation
> > > > 919 Lafond Avenue
> > > > St. Paul, MN 55104
> > > > (612)642-4000
> > > > (612)642-4068 FAX
> > > > Web site: http://www.wilder.org/
> > > > Provides assisted living and nursing home care services for the
> > > >elderly in
> > > > the Minneapolis area.
> > > >
> > > > Childrens' Hospice
> > > > 2202 Mt. Vernon Ave., Suite 3C
> > > > Alexandria, VA 22301
> > > > (703)684-0330
> > > > (703)684-0226 FAX
> > > > E-mail: mailto:chiorg@aol.com
> > > > Web site: http://www.chionline.org/
> > > > Provides information and referral services,counseling, support
> > groups,
> > > > education, and research aimed at improving hospice care for
> > children.
> > > >
> > > > Choice in Dying
> > > > 1035 30th Street NW
> > > > Washington, DC 20007
> > > > (202)338-9790
> > > > (202)338-0242 FAX
> > > > Web site:http://www.choices.org/
> > > > Advocacy organization for end-of-life rights;provides legal
> > counseling
> > > >and
> > > > information on end-of-life decisions.
> > > >
> > > > National Association for Home Care
> > > > c/o Consumer Guide
> > > > P.O. Box 14241
> > > > Washington, DC 20003
> > > > (202)547-7424
> > > > (202)547-3540 FAX
> > > > Web site: http://www.nahc.org/
> > > > Trade association that provides referrals to local hospice
> > > >organizations.
> > > >
> > > > Hospice Education Institute/Hospicelink
> > > > 190 Westbrook Road
> > > > Essex, CT 06426
> > > > (860)767-1620
> > > > (800)331-1620
> > > > (860)767-2746 FAX
> > > > E-mail: mailto:hospiceall@aol.com
> > > > Provides information and referral services,education, advice
and
> > > >assistance
> > > > regarding hospice and palliative care.
> > > >
> > > > National Hospice Organization
> > > > 1901 N. Moore Street, Suite 901
> > > > Arlington, VA 22209
> > > > (703)243-5900
> > > > (800)658-8898
> > > > (703)525-5762 FAX
> > > > E-mail: mailto:drsno@cais.com
> > > > Web site: http://www.nho.org/
> > > > Provides information and referrals to local hospitals, patient
> > > >advocacy and
> > > > professional education.
> > > >
> > > > National Institute for Jewish Hospice
> > > > 8723 Alden Drive, Suite 219
> > > > Los Angeles, CA 90048
> > > > (310)854-3036
> > > > (213)HOSPICE
> > > > (800)446-4448
> > > > Provides free telephone counseling and referrals; trains
> > professionals
> > > >in
> > > > the art of helping the Jewish terminally ill.
> > > >
> > > > RESOURCES/ LEGAL
> > > > Americans with Disabilities Act
> > > > U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission
> > > > Office of Legal Council
> > > > 1801 L Street NW
> > > > Washington, DC 20507
> > > > (202)663-4503
> > > > Provides information and legal assistance regarding
discrimination
> > due
> > > >to
> > > > illness or disability
> > > >
> > > > Family Medical leave Act
> > > > U.S. Department of Labor
> > > > Wage & Hour Division
> > > > 200 Constitution Avenue NW
> > > > Washington, DC 20210
> > > > (202)219-8412
> > > > Provides information on employment rights during medical leave
due
> > to
> > > > illness.
> > > >
> > > > Resources: Support Services: Finance & Insurance
> > > >
> > > >American Association of Health Plans
> > > >Membership Department
> > > >129 20th Street NW, Suite 600
> > > >Washington, DC 20036
> > > >(202)778-3200
> > > >Web site: http://www.aahp.org/
> > > >Insurance industry trade association that will provide information
on
> > > >insurance
> > > >and health care issues.
> > > >
> > > >Blue Cross and Blue Shield Association
> > > >675 North St. Claire Street
> > > >Chicago, IL 60601
> > > >(312)440-6000
> > > >
> > > >Department of Health and Human Services
> > > >Inspector General Hotline
> > > >Office of the Inspector General
> > > >P.O. Box 23489
> > > >Washington, DC 20026
> > > >(800)368-5779
> > > >U.S. government hotline for complaints regarding Medicare or
Medicaid;
> > > >provides
> > > >assistance with issues of entitlements, benefits, insurance, and
> > community
> > > >resources.
> > > >
> > > >Disabled American Veterans
> > > >807 Main Avenue SW
> > > >Washington, DC 20024
> > > >(202)554-3501
> > > >(202)554-3581 FAX
> > > >Web site: http://www.dav.org/
> > > >Provides assistance with health benefits for U.S. veterans.
> > > >
> > > >Hill-Burton Free Hospital Care
> > > >5600 Fishers Lane, Room 7-47
> > > >Rockville, MD 20857
> > > >(800)683-0742 Hotline
> > > >(301)594-5999 FAX
> > > >Web site: http://www.hrsa.dhhs.gov/bhrd/dfcr/dfcrmain.htm
> > > >U.S. government program that can arrange for cost-assisted care for
> > > >disadvantaged individuals at certain medical facilities or
hospitals.
> > > >
> > > >National Insurance Consumer Hotline
> > > >1001 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
> > > >Washington, DC 20004
> > > >(800)942-4242
> > > >Provides assistance in finding insurance coverage, information on
> > insurance
> > > >issues and a consumer complaint service.
> > > >
> > > >Resources: Support Services: Hair Loss
> > > >
> > > >Look Good, Feel Better
> > > >The American Cancer Society
> > > >(800)395-LOOK
> > > >Teaches women who have undergone cancer treatment how to improve
> > appearance
> > > >through cosmetics, wigs, scarfs, etc.
> > > >
> > > >Y-ME WIG
> > > >212 West Van Buren Street, 4th Floor
> > > >Chicago, IL 60607
> > > >(800)221-2141
> > > >(312)294-8598 FAX
> > > >Web site: http://www.y-me.org/
> > > >Provides donated wigs free of charge.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > >
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