Dear Mary, You wrote:
>Dear Sally,
>
>My husband is also 42 years old, and we have been married for 21 years
>in September. My heart goes out to you. It is very hard for me.
>We have four children, ages, l9, l5, 7, and 5. The three oldest
>are girls and the 5 year old is the boy my husband always dreamed
>about. NOt that he doesn't adore his girls!!
>
We do not have children, but at this point that could have been a blessing
or a curse. My stepmother had the nerve to say to me today, at least if you
all had had children...........
>My husband had stage lV lung cancer. I am so scared! It's only
>been two months since his diagnosis. I just don't know what lies
>ahead and it's terrifying.
You have been in touch with Carla, right?
Charlie is stage IV squamos cell carcinaoma to the l tonsil w/ lymph
involvement. It was totally wiped out for a few months. THe metastis was
bad news because of the bizarre spread pattern inidicating it was in the
blood. Not knowing what lies ahead its terrifying, but the heightened
awareness that cancer gives you-the living of one day at a time- is the
corolarry and the blessing. Every day when I look at my dear husband my
heart swells to 10 times what I thought it could be the day before. Each
smile, squeeze of the hand, each bird we see at the feeder, is worth a
thousand-fold days taken for granted just plugging along and living. So go
for quality and don't obsess on quantity.
>
>I am trying to be strong for him and for our children.
Me, too. I cry in the car, in the big lonely bed, and on the telephone
when he is asleep, and yes, sometimes with him. I have no advice about
helping children deal with cancer, but that probably is one of your biggest
challenges. John knows all about this and I think he can direct you to a
web site with some good info.... Are the kids in any type of support group.
Other than MOL are you? (Nosy, nosy, me-don't answer if you don't want to i
am merely planting the seed.)
Sometimes
>I feel like I am losing my mind, like this is all a bad dream or
>something and I am going to wake up, or should I say, I pray to
>wake up and find it was just a dream.
Me. too. Especially when Charlie had good days in the beginning. It was
easier to think we would wake up and get back to life as we knew it.
>
> Sorry to keep running off at the mouth. My sympathy's are with
>you. I will pray for you both.
I am so glad that you feel you have found you have a kindred spirit, and
enjoy the communication. Unfortunately, having Charlie at home for the end
means I am real busy and it may take me a few days to sit and write more
than my "one-liners". My sympathies sre with you also, and if you want to
vent I am here....
Love,
Sally
>
>God Bless You
>Mary
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>This is an automatically-generated notice. If you'd like to be removed
>from the mailing list, please visit the Medicine-On-Line Discussion Forum
>at <http://www.meds.com/con_faq.html>, or send an email message to:
>majordomo@lists.meds.com
>with the subject line blank and the body of the message containing the
line:
>unsubscribe mol-cancer your-email-address
>where the phrase your-email-address is replaced with your actual email
>address.
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is an automatically-generated notice. If you'd like to be removed
from the mailing list, please visit the Medicine-On-Line Discussion Forum
at <http://www.meds.com/con_faq.html>, or send an email message to:
majordomo@lists.meds.com
with the subject line blank and the body of the message containing the line:
unsubscribe mol-cancer your-email-address
where the phrase your-email-address is replaced with your actual email
address.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
