I believe that I am ready to let him go. I cannot handle seeing him this way.
I am only scared that he will be alone. I am seriously thinking of not going to
bed tonight. I am not sure why. I knew in my gut yesterday, that he probably
wouldn't last the week. I just want his suffering to end. I am angry. I am
angry that the docs didn't fight more aggresively in the beginning since he had
no insurance. I know that I need to let that go, but it is hard not to wonder
what would have happened if they had treated him differently. It is almost like
he is already gone, we are just waiting for his body to stop. If that makes any
sense. Anyway, I cannot even begin to say thank you for all that you have done
for me. I will keep you updated. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
Love, Sheila
ken naehring wrote:
> Sheila, my heart goes out to your dad and you and the family.. You have
> reached a time that is not easy to face.. It is a time that you want to
> hold on to and stretch out and then inside your heart is the knowledge that
> you must let him go.
>
> Oh how I wish I had words that could even begin to bring some comfort to
> you.. I only know in my heart that I must tell you to be loving and help
> him to transition with joy and peace, unto heaven. You will all be in my
> prayers tonight and I pray that whenever you must let him go, there will be
> a special moment of sharing and caring that you will hold dear in your heart
> forever more... May God be with you and loving you through this time...
> Love, Carla
> -----Original Message-----
> From: John & Sheila Lloyd <tagteam@swbell.net>
> To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
> Date: Sunday, July 05, 1998 10:51 PM
> Subject: [MOL] Update on Dad
>
> >Hello Everyone,
> >
> >This has not been a very good weekend for us. We were going to take my dad
> to
> >the bank on Friday. Before he made it to the car, he stumbled and fell.
> He hit
> >head first and gashed open his forehead and nose. He would not let us take
> him
> >to the hospital or to the E.R. clinic, so I called hospice, and they came
> and
> >looked at it. I guess the good news on that part is that they think it was
> just
> >superficial, and nothing to worry about. He has had two really bad days
> since
> >then. We cannot seem to get his pain under control, and today we ran out
> of his
> >breakthrough pain medicine. I crushed one of his long acting ones and gave
> that
> >to him, it still didn't seem to be doing anything, so I crushed another
> one. He
> >seemed to be doing better, asked for some ice cream and talked a little.
> Then
> >about an hour later, I couldn't wake him to give him his steriod, and I
> >couldn't. We thought he had gone into a coma. His eyes were only half
> open,
> >but he wouldn't respond to anything at all. We sort of prepared ourselves
> for
> >him not waking up, told my daughter, and of course she started crying. We
> are
> >all in his room, holding his hands, telling him we love him and everything.
> >After about 1-2 hours of him not responding, I called hospice. Fifteen
> minutes
> >before the nurse gets here, he just wakes up, and cannot figure out what is
> >wrong with us. He woke up in much pain, and after taking some of the short
> >acting pain pills that had finally arrived, he told me that he hoped he
> could
> >take the pills, go to sleep and not wake up. He told me that he was ready
> to
> >die. I don't want him to die, but I do not want to see him suffer anymore
> >either. I really do not think it will be much longer, before he passes.
> Pls
> >put us in your prayers.
> >
> >Love you guys,
> >Sheila
> >
> >John Waller wrote:
> >
> >> Sheila-
> >>
> >> Love the glamour shot! It's a treat to have your photos. Thanks!
> >>
> >> Nonie
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