Liz, your post on the forum reminds me so much of
myself when I started on the cancering journey... I just couldn't believe
it was real and I sure couldn't believe it was happening to me.. I think
that this is a very normal reaction that we all go through...
You also have seemed to gotten a grip and made the
appointment to have the surgery and get it over with. I too, like you just
went ahead and had the surgeon schedule me for surgery... Six days before
surgery, my best friend said "Carla, I just can't believe that you aren't
seeking atleast a second opinion". I said no, I just wanted to get it
over with and done. Then I started to think...
The next day I called and made and appointment for a second opinion.
Then my primary care doctor recommended another surgeon, so I called and made
that appointment too. I went to the second surgeon and he pretty well
agreed with the first, in fact he agreed to be in surgery to assist.
When I went to the third, I walked in and said, "I already know what
you are going to tell me". I then parroted what the others had
said. He looked at me and smiled and said" Why don't you let me look
and then tell you what I see?"
He called me back to the xray area and really talked to me and
explained what he was seeing. He differed with the other doctors as to
what he felt it was and I began to feel a comfort come over me. We even
went over to the hospital and had them look at the CT scan and xrays. I
knew in my heart that God had sent me to the right surgeon for me and I asked
him to do the surgery... So where I had felt that acceptance and facing it
head on was the correct thing to do, I now know that you need to pursue other
opinions... You will know when the answer is right for you..
Now just one more thing to throw into this. After surgery, I went to
3 different oncologists before I found the right one for me. He said that
he wished he would have been called in prior to surgery, as he would have
recommended treatments before surgery. You see, when a tumor is cut out
and removed, the cancer cells can travel to other parts of the body... Now
would treatments first have been the right thing? I will never know,
because I didn't put together the entire medical team first... I raced into
surgery.. I wanted it cut out of my body! I wanted to be cured and I
wanted to live.
Getting it cut out of your body doesn't guarantee it is over. Forgive
me if I have presumed too much in this writing to you, but if you are at all
like me.. you are feeling that cutting it out means it is over.. It
isn't. Cancer is not a procedure, it is a journey. This journey has
changed your life already, but it will continue to change your life as you
continue to live it.
Liz, not all changes are bad on this journey.. I have found that many
of mine are so wonderful and so positive.. I pray that you will find the
strength to explore all that is available to you, before you jump. I pray
that when you have made your decision it is the absolute best one that you can
make and that God will be with you as you go forth..
I hope that you will read some of the wonderful books out there on the
market to help to guide you on to be a cancering survivor... If there is
anything I can do for you, please let me know.. I will put you in my
prayers and be anxious to know how well you do.... May God Bless you,
Carla
