Debra, I am just beginning to catch up on messages after being gone for two
weeks and I felt that I needed to reach out to yours. I know your heart is
hurting right now; not only for Janice, but also for yourself. It is very
hard to find out that someone you admire and care about has the cancer
return and it is very frightening when we learn that our beliefs on cancer
are not always true; such as after five years you are cured..
The cancering journey is like going down a road that you have never been on
before and not being sure what lies around each turn. You must be able to
stay at peace on this journey and not fear each turn, for they are just a
natural part of living.
It is so hard when someone who has been a friend has a return of cancer,
like Janice has. It makes us question our own cancering journey and sparks
fear and doubt. Yet you must remember that each of us walks our own
cancering journey and each journey is unique. We are all different people,
with different bodies and different minds and as such we will truly have our
own journey which will belong to us and no one else. Then there is the fact
that God will call us when He is ready for us and nothing will alter that,
we all have a predetermined time to join our Father in heaven.
You will grieve for Janice and you need to do that to release the anger and
you will cry for you too, as there is some fear for yourself and your own
destiny. Then my dear friend Debra, you will make the next turn and go
forward. It seems that Janice has been a teacher for you when you have
needed it and maybe now it is time that you switch roles and instead of the
student, you now become the teacher to help her through the next part of her
journey.
Find the joy in each day and help her to find the joy. Today is all that
any of us have; remember that yesterday is gone and tomorrow is unknown...
As long as we find and share the joy we have done the most that we can on
our journey... May God Bless you and Janice and fill you with the wisdom
for your friend and your own journey.... Love, Carla
-----Original Message-----
From: Downs, Debra S. <Downs.Debra@uis.edu>
To: 'Molers' <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
Date: Tuesday, June 09, 1998 12:40 PM
>I just got very depressing news. One of my very best friends found out her
>cancer is back again. Here's her story.
>
>Her name is Janice, found out she had breast cancer 8 years ago. Had a
>masectomy, went through chemo. Was in remission for almost 5 years,
>actually the doc thought he had cured it, but then it showed up in her
neck.
>It was inoperable, so she had radiation. Remission again. Scar tissue
>formed and she lost the use of her left arm. 1 1/2 yrs. later it shows up
>in her lungs. Has chemo, remission again. Summer of 1997, decides to have
>a bone marrow transplant, to hopefully stop the spreading. Last Thursday,
>found out it's back in her lungs again and this morning found out it's in
>her brain.
>
>She has been practically my total inspiration throughout my treatment.
>She's always been so strong and upbeat every time she's had to go through
>this. But I can hear in her voice, she's getting tired of fighting. I've
>seen her go through all the sickness, but yet bounce back to her old self
>time after time. She's only 48 yrs. old and has a beautiful 2 yr. old
>granddaughter. I've got such mixed emotions. I hate this decease and what
>it does to good people.
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