Dear Betsey,
Never be afraid to say what is in your heart...it will always come out
just right, as what you have just now expressed, has been said with truth
and directness. Sometimes, we try to use the skills we possess to help
those we love. Just as a physician should never treat one that they are
close to nor a lawyer defend a loved one in court, you can't seperate
your professional and personal life. Let your support to your mother be
based on and come from the love of a daughter for her mom and leave the
analysis to those you are paying to be analytical. I am sure that her
doctor can hold his own...you try to understand the disappointment and
upset that each setback presents to your mom and just be there for her to
hold and love her and let her vent to you.
There are many helpful books out there regarding actively participating
in the healing process through meditation and visualization of the body
actually killing the cancer cells. Dr. Bernie Siegal is one who has
published and made video and audio tapesw in this field. I suggest that
you look into some of his stuff and work with your Mom in using some of
his methods to relax her.
God Bless you both and never feel that you are less than anyone else
fighting this terrible disease or have to appologize for being you!
John
BetsyEMT@aol.com wrote:
>
> Hello all:
>
> I sit at my computer every day, usually more than once, and read the wonderful
> messages you send to each other. I pick out the information and
> inspiration/jokes that are applicable, but I do read everything. I wish I
> could put my emotions into words the way some of you can. I don't respond
> very often, not because I don't care, but because I don't know how to say what
> I am feeling. This is definately a disadvantage, seeing as I am a caregiver
> to my mom.
>
> I am a very analytical person, I have been a research scientist for the past
> 10 years, and that has affected everything I do and say. I find that when we
> go to the ONC, I can relate to the fact that he avoids giving straight answers
> when he does not have them, and then my mom feels that I am taking his side
> over hers. I am trying to describe a big problem in as few words as possible,
> and probably not succeeding very well. I can give you all the history and
> medical info you want, but ask me for how I feel about something, and it is
> the multifunctional "fine".
>
> To get to the point, we went to our orthopedic ONC today, because mom was
> having a lot of pain in her "good" hip. We found another tumor, not in her
> hip, but as part of her pelvic bone (ischeum??). They want us to go through
> the radiation treatments all over again, and mom is pretty upset by it all.
> When she says that she feels like the cancer is eating her up, that she
> cannot think of anywhere that there isn't a tumor, my first response is to
> reel off all the other organs that there are, where there are no tumors. This
> only seems to make matters worse.
>
> I was hoping that someone might have worked through this, and might have some
> pearly words of wisdom for me.
>
> Take Care and God Bless,
> Betsy Schrock
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