This is sooooo true. I too am trying to become more this way, not saving
things for special occasions, not putting things off until tomorrow but old
habits are hard to break. Thanks for the reminder.
Christine
At 10:11 AM 23/05/98 -0400, you wrote:
>My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and
>lifted
>out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip. This is
>lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was
>exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price
>tag
>with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan bought this
>the
>first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore
>it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the
>occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other
>clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft
>material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me.
>"Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive
>is
>a special occasion." I remembered those words through the funeral and
>the
>days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad
>chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane
>returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family
>lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or
>done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that
>they were special. I'm still thinking about his words, and they've
>changed
>my life. I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and
>admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm
>spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee
>meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to
>savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish
>them. I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for
>every special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped
>the
>first camellia blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel
>like
>it. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in
>hardware
>stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my
>party-going friends'. "Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their
>grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want
>to
>see and hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done
>had
>she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for
>granted. I think she would have called family members and a few close
>friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend
>fences for past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a
>Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing-I'll never know. It's
>those
>little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my
>hours
>were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good Friends whom I was
>going
>to get in touch with-someday. Angry because I hadn't written certain
>letters that I intended to write-one of these days. Angry and sorry that
>I
>didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love
>them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything
>that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I
>open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute,
>every breath truly is...a gift from God. If you've received this it is
>because someone cares for you and it means there is probably at least
>someone for whom you care. I can tell you it certainly won't be the
>last..
>You've seen the result of this neglect in your own relationships that you
>have allowed to fade, dissolve, and fall into disrepair. Take this
>opportunity to set a new trend. Take a few minutes to send this to a few
>people you care about, just to let them know that you're thinking of
>them.
>It's even better I they're not the people you already correspond with
>every
>week. Here's the deal: "You've got to dance like nobody's watching, and
>love like it's never going to hurt."
>
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