Dear Friend, I am sorry to hear about your Dad's news. Everyone is
strung a little differently, so you will probably get very different
answers on this one. If it were me, I would want to know. In fact, I get
pretty angry when I feel my doctors are "protecting" me "for "my own
good." (Recently, I stopped seeing a doctor who withheld information
"for my own good" -- after I gave him a piece of my mind!!) But I like
knowing what I'm up against. It may hurt, but then I work it through,
and make plans accordingly. And knowing brings out the fighter in me.
But that's me!
Some things to consider for your Dad's situation...
1. How does HE respond to negative news as a rule? Does he get easily
discouraged, or does he take it as a personal challenge?
2. Is he on medication that has a depressive effect, which has altered
his normal frame of mind?
3. How active is he able to be currently in making decisions about his
care, and is this important to him?
4. Does he have unfinished business, things he might want to accomplish,
that only he can decide?
5. How would withholding this info affect the trust between you?
Know that there is no right or wrong answer, and whatever is decided,
move on and don't second-guess yourself. God knows your hearts and will
honor your love for your Dad. I will be praying for you all, not just
for healing, but also that you will feel God's presence and wisdom
through this time. Blessings! Joicy
Gary Jackson wrote:
>
> This next Wednesday, my 68 year old Dad will visit several different
> doctors concerning his treatment. Since Jan. 98, he has had a brain
> tumor removed and radiated, hip bone radiated and both of these coming
> from an adenoid carcinoma of an unknown primary. Today the biopsy of a
> tumor on his pharnyx reveals another type of cancer, squamous
> (msp).Between the radiologist, ENT and oncologist, I am hearing
> different opinions on treatment. One is to treat for survival with 7
> weeks radiation while the radiologist is saying what's the point, since
> the average life span is 6-9 months (though he admitted there are those
> surviving 5 years) and let's let him enjoy life now as he is feeling
> fairly well. Knowing my dad, I feel like he will choose radiation
> despite any statistics, if there's any hope (forget alternatives, he
> won't go for it). My question is: Wouldn't he "fight" stronger or have
> more hope during the 7 weeks if we did not tell him of the 6-9 months
> stastistics? The radiologist says he needs to know. I think he'll
> loose hope. I plan to let my mom decide this and will stick by her on
> her decision. What do you think?
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
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