Dear Sally,
Yes, of course there is much that I don't understand or can't realize,
as I am no where near the circumstances as you are. I just saw a glimmer
in your message and I jumped on the chance to encourage. Wish I could
have read the radiology/pathology report in order to tell you what they
meant by no adenopathy and of course that may have given you more
encouragement.
The minute by minute circumstances you mention and the concerns for
present decisions are heart wrenching to us as I can hear in your
message it is for you as well, much moreso, as you are experiencing it.
I guess, in my opinion, as I feel helpless while you are there and we
here, that as long as you continue to keep us posted about these
circumstances there may be some of us that can continue to provide you
with some additional insight that won't seem disagreeing or
misunderstanding and may be useful. At least I hope that is the case.
I will tell you this, if it is reassuring, that I and certainly the vast
majority of the members here pray to God often for both your recovery
and good health and happiness, and as I read you messages, I continue to
research for means and medical miracles and therapies that may help you
although I believe at this point you may know as much or maybe more,
than many in the medical field. That is what many of us had to do. So,
pls know that we are here for you, even though there is much I don't
understand as Charlie and you are experiencing much that I haven't but
yet pls know that we are here to support you in anyway we are able.
God Bless
your friend
marty auslander
Charlie T wrote:
>
> Thanks for the insight. You just get so much information, some of it which
> does not agree. When we entered into this trial, it was 911 -Do Not Delay-
> so I guess the fact that we have the liberty of 4 weeks to wait for the next
> test indicates something-although part of what it indicates is that he is
> still having treatment changes and to test now is a waste. And I SAW the
> words no adenopathy, so I just have to remember that does pertain to
> somewhere, just maybe not everywhere. Ah, but those 24 hours of thinking
> they were meaning everywhere sure were sweet!!
>
> I just hate the waiting. If we could resume our lives it would be so much
> easier. I went out and bought an IV pole for the GI feeding, and have set
> up visits and little car trips for Chas. I realized the only time he is in
> the car is to go to the hospital. We were letting the sheduled feedings,
> hydrations, medicines, etc. tether us to the house.
>
> When I told him we were going to see an old friend he hadn't seen in 15
> years Monday he kinda panicked and said, well, what about food, mouth rinse,
> medicine, nausea.... I told him all of that was discussed with the pal and
> that I would have a little road kit, and his pal was accommodating and
> understanding.
>
> If he does OK, I may take him down to Texas City Dike to crab and fish,
> although that has more complicated logistics like bathroom locales, just me
> to haul the equipment.... The point is, I think he needs to resume life as
> much as he can in this medical limbo and the physical desertion of strength.
> It's up to me to make it happen, even if he participates no more than
> watching a video, it will be food for the eye and mind. Maybe we'll just
> look at the waves along the dike!!
>
> I really appreciate the encouragement, and of course, we will both get over
> this. We have only one direction to go at this point! Arriba!
>
> Love,
>
> Sally
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Martin Auslander <fitecancer@earthlink.net>
> To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
> Cc: charliet@flash.net <charliet@flash.net>
> Date: Sunday, April 19, 1998 9:06 AM
> Subject: Re: [MOL] Roller Coaster
>
> >Dearest Sally,
> >
> >While I understand and empathize with yours and Charlies anxiety and
> >fears and frustrations, I like to see some positive in what the tests
> >and future and doc says. I like to believe that when he says "the
> >original tumor is aggressive" it may be a case where the tumor is no
> >longer aggressive or at the very best disappearing.
> >
> >Another positive I see out of your message is that you won't know for 4
> >weeks yet. Well if Barb and I had that originally we would revel in the
> >belief that there is four more weeks of planning, loving, being
> >determined, finding more strategies, having us support. Four weeks is a
> >time in which the docs are saying that it is not urgent, but being
> >precautious. Sometimes when readings are impossible or seemingly
> >impossible we have found that to be taken in good signs that tumors are
> >disappearing. When the doc says or reminds you of the original tumor
> >being aggressive, well that is what docs do in order to be as well
> >determined to make certain that since there is progress, then the battle
> >has to be totally won and that is the mark of good medicine. seeing
> >things to beating this cancer.
> >
> >Pls forgive me for being bold as I want to try to encourage as I know
> >you are down. I hope and pray to God that what I say and believe are
> >correct, but since there is so much vagueness and uncertainties, I, that
> >is me, like to believe that Hope is in the positive side of how Charlie
> >has progress and that wellness does take time as illness took its time
> >as well.
> >
> >Pls know that what I say is from a friend and one who has read all your
> >very courageous and articulate messages. I am here but to support and
> >provide you with HOPE. We will wait with you and pray for the two of you
> >and I see the future as one in which there will be more progress and
> >good to come from this. I know in the meantime its heartwrenching for
> >you and he. WE have been there,as we still experience. Its a never
> >ending cycle or roller coaster, but yet many or most of us tend to find
> >the right niche to cope. I know the two of you will and do.
> >
> >The dedication and determination which you both display is unparalleled
> >with so many who seek to find health. It is one of courage and heroism
> >and with that belief and courage, health will come in terms of a greater
> >quality life. That truly is proven in many of the miracle stories. YOurs
> >is certainly one of those.
> >
> >Pls know that we are here for you, for your very supportive needs and
> >forgive my boldness as I know you can't see the empathy and sincerity on
> >my face for which my compassion is lacking. But my heart is very deep
> >with the compassion and understanding for what you are feeling.
> >
> >God Bless you Both and thank you for sharing your very emotions and
> >concerns.
> >
> >Your friend
> >marty auslander
> >
>
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