Sally,
Thank you, I will get the book and read it.
-----Original Message-----
From: Charlie T [mailto:charliet@flash.net]
Sent: Tuesday, May 19, 1998 9:43 AM
To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
Subject: Re: [MOL] Ponderings to Ben
<< File: ATT00027.html >> Dear Ben,
Although the header says "Charlie T", you are communicating with
Sally. Charlie has not been at the computer for a few months now due
lack of energy, and more recently-double vision. He is a good person
and "gave" of himself every night at work performing. Quite honestly,
he was very sought after because of his talents, and his ability to
relate to people and conduct himself professionally (something many
talented musicians lack). My first reaction was "why"? Gee, why not
someone like Ted Kozynski, Sadaam Husein, Tim McVeigh instead of a
young person with so much good to contribute like Mavis or Charlie.
I really want you to get the "50 Essential...."book. Number 42
entitled "Why?" expresses it very well and here is a small excerpt:
"Why" is another way of saying we are helpless and the situation is
beyond our control. Some people blame others, some blame
circumstances, some blame parents, some blame doctors, some blame the
environment, and some blame God. Affixing blame does not help.
Affixing blame only creates helpless victims, something I trust by
now you feel you are not.
The road to personal wellness starts when we stop asking "why" and
consider the question"toward what end?" Another way of saying this is
"For what purpose?" or "How can this be used for good?" Given that we
have cancer, the best question to pose is, "How can I make this
experience benefit myself, others, and the world?"
This book was written by Greg Anderson a survivor who was given an
initial prognosis of 30 days back in 1984. After hearing Charlie's
prognosis, we tossed the thought of "his chances" out the window and
decided he is on the survivor end of the statistic, no matter how
narrow it is percentage wise to the non-survivors. Out of the 500
survivors Greg interviewed, they all expressed this belief-that they
would survive. Ask any good doctor or anyone here: attitude is a very
very important component of treatment-just as much as the chemo. And
with a good support team Mavis obviously has in her family, she can
survive this. Please go get this book, and if you can not find it I
will mail you my copy. That's how important I think it is.
And keep coming to us with your questions. Let us know about the
upcoming test results for Mavis. We have a CT scan for Charlie day
after tomorrow to see if the metastasized tumor is responding to the
new treatment. And a month ago we were told he was cancer free....so
you have to learn to roll with these things and NEVER GIVE UP!!
Your friend,
Sally
-----Original Message-----
From: Ben Lee <BLee@nb.cadix.com>
To: 'mol-cancer@lists.meds.com' <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
Date: Tuesday, May 19, 1998 11:21 AM
Subject: RE: [MOL] Ponderings to Ben
>Charlie,
>
>Thanks for the information on chemo. Since Mavis just moved up from
>Pasadena (near L.A.), CA to Saratoga (near San Jose) CA on Mother's
>Day, she is a bit disorganized. She intends to get on the net at
>which time, I am sure she might log on directly.
>
>Mavis is an A.U.S.A (Assistant US Attorney). She had been working as
>a federal prosecutor at the federal court in L.A for the past 4
years.
> She decided to move back to the San Jose federal court to work.
> Before starting her new job, she was to take a trip to Italy. She
>thought she would do a physical exam before going to Europe. That
was
>how the cancer was discovered. So, suddenly and so unexpectedly.
>
>She is only 31 years old, so young. She has a personality that
>attracts friends easily. Why does this happen to such a good
person?
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Charlie T [mailto:charliet@flash.net]
>Sent: Monday, May 18, 1998 7:32 PM
>To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
>Subject: [MOL] Ponderings to Ben
>
>
>Dear Ben,
>
>My husband has squamous cell carcinoma to the tonsil (primary) that
>has now unfortunately metastasized to the base of his skull. I
really
>felt a pang for you when I read about your daughter, so young, with a
>bright and promising career. My Charlie is only 43, and probably the
>most well known pianist and singer in Houston (in clubs, restaurants,
>showcases, etc.). People always told us God gave him a gift with his
>musical talents....every time I catch myself saying "Why God" I
>remember Charlie's prominence, and wonder if indeed that is not why,
>and if we have a responsibility on our journey to teach others. That
>thought is sometimes a comfort and sometimes merely a reason to go
>on.
>I can not speak with any authority on Mavis' specific situation. You
>did however pose the question, is the chemo worse than the
>disease.....
>
>the chemo, depending upon what drugs and what amounts and intervals
>between administration can be merely inconvenient to very rough.
>
>In Charlie's case it is the latter.....
>
>but one of his doctors summed it up very well when he told us that
not
>pursuing treatment (chemo in Charlie's case) would have depressingly
>obvious results. We are dealing with a very insidious disease, and
>the artillery is just as aggressive as the disease itself.
>I wish the best for you and your family and your Mavis. If she wants
>to log on, there are many here who can share with her. We are all at
>a different milestone in the journey.
>Sincerely,
>
>Sally and Charlie (Diana (I think) called us the roller coaster
>riders)
>
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