Dear Jean and Christine,
Jean that was so wonderfully and intelligently spoken. A true
professional couldn't advised better.
May I just add to your brilliant letter. When writing down fears in a
journal and keeping those fears, is a reminder that you can keep those
fears inside of you. WE need to change those fears to positive emotions.
So this is what you may wish to do. On a sheet of paper, lengthwise,
draw a vertical line from top to bottom.
On the left side of the paper, number and speak about each fear, each
negitive emotion as many as you can think about. Then after you are
finished, on the right side write and change each negative to a
positive. For instance if number one "I am afraid my Father is going to
die" then change that belief around to say "No one, other than God knows
when anyone will die, and my Father has the great ability to live and
due to the many conventional and alternative tretments of therapy and
the support and love of his family and friends and medical team he can
live"
So, then after you are all through writing out the positive or changing
the negative emotions to positive. Then tear off the left side of
negative beliefs and throw them away. Keep the right side of positive
emotions and read them 8 times a day for say, three weeks. your attitude
will change and for the better...We have seen this little technique work
in almost all that it was suggested to. Now there are no fears to be
reminded of, only positive emotions and beliefs.
God Bless and hope this helps. Thank you Jean for that beautiful,
meaningful message.
marty auslander
Thomas A Johnson wrote:
>
> Christine,
>
> I am a worrier, too, and here are some of the methods to deal with worry
> that I've either heard about, read about, or tried:
>
> 1. Set aside a specific time per day (like 9:00-10:00 p.m., for
> instance) where you will do nothing else except worry. For the rest of
> the day, you must put aside your worries, reminding yourself that you may
> deal with them only at the appointed time.
>
> 2. When you start to worry, say a mental "Stop!" and then switch to a
> pleasanter thought.
>
> 3. Involve yourself in something that is entirely engrossing, so much so
> that you cannot concentrate on anything else while you're doing it.
> Meditation is excellent. (There's one meditation I saw where you
> visualize yourself putting all of your worries into a huge balloon and
> then letting it float off into the sky.) And I like working jigsaw
> puzzles. It requires rapt attention. Or put your photos into albums.
> Do anything that will require you to shift your focus. Get "The
> Relaxation Response." I haven't read the book yet, but I've used the
> technique. You breathe deeply in and out, slowly counting back from 10
> and progressively relaxation every part of your body until you're
> completely relaxed.
>
> 4. Pray. One poem I read was about someone complaining that God didn't
> help him when he asked for help. God replies, "How could I? Whenever
> you turned over the problem to me, you kept taking it back again." How
> true.
>
> 5. Ask yourself, "What is the worst thing that could happen?" "Will
> this be important 10 or 20 years from now?" "Is worrying about it going
> to make the outcome any different?" I waste a lot of my energy worrying
> about things. Remind yourself, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the
> things I cannot change, accept the things I can, and the wisdom to know
> the difference." Worry just drags you down further. Also, get a book
> called "The Feeling Good Handbook." It explains distorted thinking like
> tragedizing things, black & white thinking, projecting, personalization,
> etc. There's a blank form in it that you can copy whereby you can
> analyze your thoughts to discover what you own internal dialogue is and
> whether or not you're giving yourself distorted messages. It's
> excellent.
>
> 6. Write out your fears in a journal. In fact, make it a dialogue.
> Pretend you are trying to comfort a friend who has these concerns. Write
> out what each of you would say & responses you would give. I bet you'll
> feel better when you're done.
>
> 7. I read in one book that a good way to stop the mental loop of
> worrying is to get an answering machine tape and record your fears over
> top of it. Then sit down and overload yourself w/your fears until you
> are sick and tired of hearing them and you become less sensitized to
> those fears, your reaction becomes less strong each time you're
> confronted with your fears. Sort-of like people who are afraid to drive
> across bridges and go ahead & do it anyway until they become less fearful
> and more comfortable.
>
> I'm on medicine for depression right now that also deals with my
> obsessive worrying. It's called Luvox and it seems to help a great deal.
> Of course, you may not have the worrying compulsion that I do. I think
> exercising would help ease your worry, too. At least it would be a
> productive way to work off some of the anxiety and stress.
>
> I hope this doesn't sound too simplified. I don't mean it to be. These
> are just some recommendations from another person struggling with the
> same problem. I've wasted so much of my life worrying about things over
> which I have no control. It's such a waste of energy and time. I will
> pray that you find peace from your fears and anxieties and that
> everything turns out well for you. But will you feel like you spent
> your time wisely when you finally get your mammogram results, be they
> good or bad? Will you feel you were good to yourself by allowing that
> worry to take over your life? Would anything be different because you
> spent so much time worrying about it? Fill yourself with peace. Don't
> let this fear rob you of life and love of life. It is preying on you.
> That is all it is doing. You may not have control over what life deals
> you, but - as many have said on this forum - you have control over how
> you react to it. That's pretty strong stuff.
>
> -Jean
>
>
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