You mention the good dr does not have much
hope. Theirs is a clinical world, right? I mean you have to look at
it that way if you are a physician-cut and dried analysis of a case (as in type
of cancer. etc) not a analysis of a person (not that your doctor isn't a
nice chap, just that he has no intimate knowledge of the spiritual DEPTH of Bob
and Susan)
But we as enlightened people who are aware
of other "yardsticks" that may well measure chances by hope, faith,
determination, participation, prayer... All these things science can't
measure yet they tilt the scales and stastistics of survival in our
(the patients) favor.
I wish I could say for all of us that THE CURE will be here tomorrow.
But lacking that, let's not forget some of the most amazing cures have come from
within or from other things the doctors don't control like attitude,
nutrition, Essiac, Noni, which (as we've all read from people here) we all
to one degree or another prescribe to.
I hate the ups and downs. It's
equally hard on us, as caregivers, I think. Everytime as I would
report an UP to friends and family at Charlie's insistence (he could not talk)
then we would have a DOWN, and everyone would want to know why, how long, wasn't
it supposed to be getting better? I had no answer except that it was the
way it was, and we were promised a roller coaster ride with an uncertain
ending-nothing more.
What I think friends and family fail to
understand unless they are right there with you day in and day out is that this
whole sick game is about ups and downs. You learn not to hang the moon on
any prognosis from life expectancy to recovery time. And yet those not
intimately involved want something more concrete and factual and reliable.
As we know it ain't there.
Charlie's mom in a stage whisper over the phone (like he could
hear, I guess) tells me that Charlie's Aunt has "really changed since her
breast cancer". I was just silent. I did not know what knd of
reply that needed or deserved. My God, woman-what do you think it does to
your life, frienships, psyche, health-NOTHING??????
When I finally spoke, I told her of course it changed
Aunt "Dolly Marie's" (good old East Tx name, by the way)
life. It changed ours to hear Charlie's diagnosis, and like it or not, It
changed hers (his mom's), too. I don't want to sound like a bitch, but I
just really wanted her to back off and think before she spoke. But that
was a quality she never had before, why should I expect it now, when we are all
under stress.....tee-hee
If I remember right, YOUR in-laws are here now. If
you get stressed, remember my mo-in-law and laugh. You know, and Bob
knows, you are doing you level best and then some
1. I don't think you ever sleep your energy is
boundless
2. You are always researching, asking, looking for
alternatives
3. You have kept a remarkable perspective and
spirit
4. You are beside him
Hopefully it it merely their fear and ignorance of the
situation and it's requirements that make them seem so antagonistic. You
know you are doing everything top-notch and with LOVE and compassion. If
you have moments of frustration and anger, that's not at all unnatural given the
situation. Forgive yourself and move on to the tasks at hand - you know I
know there are alot of shitty ones out there (bills, taxes, ins. co., family
diplomacy without dynamite)....
I look forward to hearing from you, but please wait until your
visitors are gone (unless you have insomnia!!)
